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31/7/8

What a day, Parishioners -
I went to Melbourne!

An interview for a position in a New Parish!

Up at 08:00
leave The Rectory 09:15
train departs PonyTown 09:31 (on time!!!)
train arrives 10:08, change lines
train arrives airport 10:20 – have ONE HOUR wait
Virgin departs Kinsford Smith 11:15 (not even a free coffee!)
plane arrives Tullamarine 12:45
taxi to Bishoprick in St Kilda (home!) 30 min & $60
interview with Bishop & friends 1h
taxi to New Parish 30 min & $60
interview with current Priest & Friends of the Church,
tour of Church & surrounds 2h
taxi to Tullamarine – now here’s a story:

seventy of her sisters await you in Heaven

As you know, Parishioners,
a little rain slows traffic to a crawl,
a subsequent accident brings it to a halt.

Traffic was crawling,
then there was an accident somewhere, but not on my route.
However, Just In Case,
one lane of the now despised Westgate Tunnnel
was closed for use by emergency personnel, if required.

AAAAARRRRGGGGHHHH!!!

I reckon I spent AT LEAST 45 min in The Tunnel of Hell!
choking on exhaust fumes, eyes watering, praying in the back seat…
and there was this Big Brother (the Original, ‘Tish) voice
which came over the loudspeakers
AND broke into the radio
& told everyone that one lane was closed…

The trip took 90 min and cost &120!

Fortunately (presciently?), not knowing when the Festivities would end,
I had booked a flight leaving rather late in the day.
Thus I had little time to wait around the airport…

you mocking my belly-button, punk?

Virgin leaves Tullamarine 19:45
plane arrives Kingsford Smith 21:05
train departs airport 21:40
train arrives 21:50, change lines
train departs 22:13
train arrives PonyTown 23:05
Home At Last! – 23:15

All in all, a 14h day,
time to relax…

Stayed up late to watch Anthony LaPaglia (who can’t drop his adopted Yank accent now),
the wonderfully understated David Wenham

and cross-eyed frogmouth Sibylla Budd in The Bank.
Then The Best Sleep I’ve Had In WEEKS!!!

‘Tis a Beautiful Day, Parishioners!

there are SO MANY of you!

My Team Leader

Parishioners,

There is A Most Wunnerful Person of The Whirl

in our midst!

REJOICE!

Future Team Leader
Flight Centre PonyTown
(P) 02 9520 1244
(F) 02 9520 1255
(E) office@flightcentre.com.au
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Published in:  on July 24, 2008 at 4:15 AM Leave a Comment

Trunk Game

22/7/8

In spite of my layoff, Parishioners,

I have not visited A Softer World

in some time.

I have remedied this

He\'s *behind* you!

and urge y’all to do the same.

mummy is crying

OH, I don’t have time to go through all this – check it!

Blessings,

Le Rev Dr

The Trouble with Sex & Marriage

13-7-8

When the Eliot Spitzer scandal broke in March, I had only sympathy for him: another middle-aged married guy tormented by his sexual needs. I’m 52 and have always struggled with the desire for sexual variety. Everyone gets an issue, and that’s mine; it’s given me pleasure and pain, and jolted my marriage. I’d only talked about my issue with any honesty over the years with about six or seven people, and when you leave out my wife and a therapist, they are all men.

Go here

an artiste's palette

Blessings,

Le Rev Dr

Condom Arsonist

10/7/8

It is time, Parishioners, to come clean.

Here is the story of “Pete Best” – the Legendary Xth Beatle – *MY* story

Best Wishes la!

Born November 23, 1941, in Madras, India (I’m a Saggitarius, Scorpio cusp)

Ma, Mona Best (1924-1988, bless her) started The Casbah Coffee Club in the cellar of the our house in Liverpool, which became very popular—the membership list grew to over a thousand—and where The Beatles (then known as The Quarrymen) played some of their first concerts.

Da, John Best, came from a family of sports promoters in Liverpool, who once owned and ran the Liverpool Bathroom. All the rooms were painted dark green or brown, and the garden was totally overgrown.

The Beatles first played at the Indra club in Hamburg, but slept in the Bambi Kino in small, dirty rooms, which were noisy, cold, and directly behind the screen. After the closure of the Indra because of complaints about the noise, The Beatles played in the Kaiserkeller.

I later discovered that the audition was not needed, as The Beatles hadn’t found any other drummer with My Magnificent Thighs or who was willing to travel to Hamburg, but the bastards didn’t tell me in case I asked for more money.

As a snub to Koschmider, I found a condom in my luggage, attached it to a nail on the concrete wall of the room, and set fire to it. There was no real damage done, but Koschmider reported us both for attempted arson. Me and Macca spent three hours in a local jail and were deported—as was George, for working under the legal age limit on 30 November 1960.

Back in Liverpool, no-one contacted each other for two weeks.

that's Stu, isn't it?

During one of Da’s extended business trips, “Filthy” became romantically involved with Mona, who was 18 years his senior. He fathered a child by her- Vincent “Roag” Best, her third son – my retarded half-brother.

I became a “steady’ drummer, meaning that I played the bass drum on all four beats in the bar, which pushed the rhythm. I forced all my emotions into my gigantic right foot. No-one else had the balls to try this, let alone make it rawk!

I was invited to sing a “speciality” number called “Peppermint Twist” while McCartney played the drums, but I always felt uncomfortable being at the front of the stage; the hail of panties was frightening!

Hank & the Shadows

In June 1962, I was fired by The Beatles because George Martin was jealous of my drumming. I also was reluctant to adopt that stoopid mop-top haircut and was *far* more popular with the chicks than the others; so everyone was pretty much jealous & pissed off..

The group was good enough to be signed to a contract (even though they had *already* signed a contract with Brian Epstein) but with one exception; Martin and his engineers did not like my outstanding playing.

The lads don’t want you in the group anymore.

Ringo is delighted, tremendously excited

The Beatles had to suffer jeers and heckling in the street and on stage for weeks afterwards, with fans shouting, “Ringo never, Pete Best forever!”

“What ever happenned to that guy?”

I first joined Lee Curtis & the All Stars, which then broke off from Curtis and became Pete Best & the All Stars. We then signed to Decca Records – who had previously rejected The Beatles – and released the single “I’m Gonna Knock On Your Door, which was not a hit.

I did shift work loading bread into the back of delivery vans, earning £8 a week, and married a girl named Kathy who worked behind the biscuit counter at a Woolworth’s store, then became a civil servant for 20 years. I tried to commit suicide, but was somehow talked out of it by Mona, and my brother, Rory.

I then bailed to the United States along with songwriters Wayne Bickerton and Tony Waddington. As The Pete Best Four, and later as The Pete Best Combo (now five guys), toured America with a combination of 1950’s songs and original tunes, recording for small labels, but had fucking little success.

I am currently touring the U.S. with The Pete Best Band, sharing the drumming with fucking Roag. In July 2007, I was inducted into the All You Need Is Liverpool Music Hall of Fame as the debut Charter Member, whatever that means…

I am not in frequent contact with the lads, but they know where to find me..

regard my Mighty Thighs!

My First List

6/7/8

My First List, Parishioners!

An Old Friend (from small times)
suggested I beat the stress
by making lists
with checkboxes

and ticking them off.

I initially resisted
but caved today -
I have *SO* much to do!

A Very Famous List by Mr Merriweather

SO
here it is,
as I wrote it
except that ’twas in two columns…
(here’s a pretty good facsimile You can also get there via the sidebar)

TO DO Japanese character for Sunday 6/7/8. (!)
————————- (left, Most Important column)

BITCH
Dole
St George
Haircut
Brother T – pink & Fred
Perpetual
Colonial
SUPER! Selina

————————- (right, Things I Gotsta Do Eventually column)

(red pen) CALL @ 12 TechStaff! (in a box)

Defrag
Ditch paper(s) – keep some for dishes
Hunney’s stuff
pictures
FRIDGE! (in a box)

MOVING
GARBAGE

————————– that’s it, Parishioners.

makes Perfect Sense to me.

A List of Very Important Things

A Frenzy of Incapability™

6/7/8

I am *knackered*, Parishioners.

Currently “between Churches”
I am looking for a new position

and DREADING the move…

executed Reverend

I arrived with a suitcase, my black guitar and a backpack.
Now I have an entire Rectory full o stuff -
seven years of accumulated stuff!

How the Hell am I gwan move?

How the Hell am I gwan move the Ponies,
The futon, the wall unit, the glass tables, this leaden slate thang,
the fridge, the washing machine, this trusty box,
my precious bonsai?

It is all too much for me
and I can’t eat, can’t sleep -

dead priest

nothing for it but to bury the head in the sand -
this week ’twas champagne…

I am currently putting on a brave front
but all advice enormously appreciated -
I have worked myself into A Frenzy of Incapability™.