Orangs

6/2/8

Hunney & I were discussing The Descent of Man
and how the genome can be almost the same –

but make different things –

why *are* people different?

For example, drosophila– fruit flies to you & me –
have about 90% of the same genes – homeo box, tata box &cetera…

Some of us and chimpanzees have about 99.99% similarity
but we are quite recognizable as different species, mostly.

THEN

she mentioned my Orangs

not many people know this
and fewer read this site
so The Secret Knowledge shall be preserved

Orangs, y’see, are Not From Here

They are from another planet
and when they ran out of oranges,
they *had* to come here.

They chose a remote, quiet place to settle
(Borneo – or whatever it’s called now, ‘Tish)
and steadfastly worked ‘pon their Plan.

she loves and forgives him

Orangs were unknown (to the white man, at least)
before 1912, when Henry Joseph Wheatstone (b Bristol, England 1881, d Jakarta 1975)
led a party of soldiers into a forest in Borneo (they have more than one)
probably in order to conquer something for England
and was beaten savagely by a mob of red-haired dwarves with unusually long arms.
The patrol of twelve strong & true was reduced to four; one of them carried back on a litter, just like the old days.

DO NOT mess with my Orangs!
(remember this – it will be useful later)

Superbly Britishly, Wheatstone returned with extra men
but neglected, Stupidly Britishly, to survey the terrain
and was, once again, forced to retire with severe casualties.

A medical examiner’s report suggests that most of the wounds
were from big long arms with big gnarly hands and big gnarly fingers
BUT
some of the wounds resulted from being smacked on the arse with a stick.

Wheatstone was ordered not to return and, probably thanks to him,
Borneo (OWICNT)? remains the lovely wilderness we point to
while guiltily denying the destruction of OUR planet.

* * *

Why Borneo (OWICNT)?
the tranquility, for one.

Orangs are universally (and I mean that)
known for their tolerance
(and great piloting!)
but – in a strange place – seclusion is wise.

Secondly – Asia is a great staging base for world conquest –
(yeah, you already know…)

go left, go right; up, down – have ’em all!
(this is why terror, and the fucking war on terror will never work…
I HATE to say this – but – location, location, location…)

Why are there so many of my Orangs in California?
(all those movies – it MUST be true!)
It’s because of the oranges!

Why are they harvesting the largest pristine forest in the universe?

HUNDREDS OF LITTLE BOATS
(bold, underline, italic, red)

are soon to invade Spain, Brother B!

I have already ordered a boat

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One CommentLeave a comment

  1. […] have, of late, Parishioners, written of Orangs – those noble Men of the […]


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