A Better Life


Life, Parishioners, can be good.

All you hafta do

is all of this:


1. Walk More

If walking isn’t your style, find another form of fitness that works for you.

2. Eat Slower/Less

If you put your fork down in between bites, you will find yourself feeling better.

3. Drink More Water

Is your urine almost as clear as water?

clear as a mountain stream!

4. Drink Less Alcohol

There are a number of other problems associated with drinking booze, including poor sleep habits, dehydration, memory loss, and of course, one-night stands with horrifically ugly people.

5. Drink More Wine

Combine a daily glass of wine with a brisk, hour-long walk.

drinking more wine

6. Meditate/Breathe Deeply

If meditation can help patients who need open-heart surgery, imagine what it can do for you.

7. Stretch Your Muscles

Set a timer on your computer and do a little stretch once an hour.

8. Spend 10 Minutes Outside

Standing outside is (so far) free.

9. Cut Back on Caffeine

Caffeine is a funny kind of drug.. Choose coffee over Mountain Dew.

10. Drink a Cup of Tea

Drinking a cup of tea is healthy and smart.

11. Sleep More

If there is one single thing that you can do to improve your health today, getting more sleep should take priority.

12. Watch Less TV

It’s time to cut back on television. After all, you can get your news from the internet.

13. Laugh Your Ass Off

You don’t have to be an all-around mirthful person.

14. Quit Smoking

Do we really need any details on this one? Everyone knows how terrible smoking is for you. Just stop it. It’s gross.

Yes; must quit. Tomorrow.

15. Eat One (More) Serving of Fruit



How awesome is fruit?

16. Exercise Your Brain

Try keeping a journal. Even if you simply write down the most mundane things that have happened to you. [yay Twitter!]

17. Smile More

It can be hard to smile when you don’t feel happy.

18. Take Your Fish Oil

I always end up burping a gross, fishy scent for a couple of hours

19. Take a Hot Bath

A hot bath can help lower your blood sugar. It’s not something that should be done every single day.

20. Make Love, Not War

Seriously, having sex is not just awesomely fun, sex is good for you. Oh, yes, there are risks, so don’t do anything stupid.

more than just Friends

21. Floss Your Teeth

Flossing is significantly less interesting than having regular, rewarding sex.

22. Adopt a Pet

Assuming you have the financial capacity, having a pet can be a wonderful experience.

23. Get a Massage

Massage can be expensive, so seek out daily coupon email deals, massage schools, friends, and lower-priced massage centers.

24. Plant a Garden

Dry, pickle, or preserve whatever you can’t finish during the growing season, and keep the excitement of homegrown goodness year-round.

25. Take a Fiber Supplement

You don’t need to take anything special, just some Metamucil or Benefiber in the morning  and again before dinner.



Reduce/Eliminate Daily Luxuries


Prevent Repair Costs

Share Toys

Shop on a Full Stomach

Share Baby Clothes

Purchase Generic

Buy in Bulk

Turn off the Lights

Purchase Used Items

much cheaper used

Cut Food Costs

Reduce Reoccurring [sic] Costs

Give Up Caffeine

Let Your Gray Hair Grow

Learn Not to Give Too Much



Groom Your Dogs by Yourself

Don’t Have a Television

Drive Slowly

Go with Local/Seasonal for Flowers



Bargain with a Photographer

Put Your Wedding Online

Get Married on a Weekday

Stop Throwing Away Your Food

Start a Business

Change Jobs

Get a Second Job

Start Saving


See also 17 Uses For Stale Bread


lifted mainly from 25 Healthy Changes You Can Make Today

by Andrea Karim, Senior Writer, 24 May 2011

My grandmother, who spent a better part of her childhood in Nazi prison camps, instilled in her children a strong conviction that wasting food was downright sinful so I live in a rather paranoid world where refusing to take home your leftovers from a night of Chinese food is almost on par with punching a kitten

punch or grenade, kitty?


Sometimes, it’s the little things that make the biggest impact on our lives


The URI to TrackBack this entry is: https://lerevdr.wordpress.com/2011/05/26/a-better-life/trackback/

RSS feed for comments on this post.

One CommentLeave a comment

  1. Going from an outsider to a potential Player of the Year is a wonderful achievement for Moses.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: