Coles Sports for Schools


Apologies, Parishioners,
this is a little late.
Still, it is now time to redeem your vouchers!


Please be assured if the delay in sending your satchels is due to the delay in receiving additional satchels we will of course accept the satchels for processing

Cheryl Russell, 58, said that Karama Coles was handy
(and other stores owned by the sprawling behemoth that is Wesfarmers)
in its infinite generousity

is running a Sports for Schools programme

Cathy, Curtis & some bloke

Collecting vouchers is easy! Every member of your school’s community will earn one voucher for every $10 spent in a Coles, Coles Online, BI-LO or Pick ‘n’ Pay store from July 29th through to October 18th just for doing their regular shop!


For every $10 spent, they’ll earn 1 voucher
1 x Coles Sports for Schools voucher = 1 Point


Plus throughout the program there will be opportunities to collect bonus vouchers with our special promotional offers on over 1,800 selected products. So keep an eye out instore, online and on TV!
(Excluded items include: Coles Express and Coles Insurance purchases, and gift cards, liquor, tobacco and tobacco related product purchases. Other products may also be excluded at Coles’ discretion)

However, some Parishioners are Not Happy;
a search for “Coles Sports for Schools rip off
reveals some cynics…

Lessee; at 1 point per $10,
this costs $7.00

will tend to travel slower than the puck
this costs $33.50

vinyl covered folding prism with arrow
and this costs $180 100
no error in transposing times from watch to paper
My favourite, however, is
A variety of equipment suitable for participation in Traditional Indigenous Games!

2 Bocce sets, 4 Flat hoops 60cm, 4 Flat hoops 75cm – $305 600!

PS: someone has declared today Steve Irwin Day!

The Energy Catalyzer!


You could, Parishioners,

trawl thru Teh Luvverly Interwebs (Wikipedia!) yourselves

or get it all here – with pictures!

We turn our attention now to

Andrea Rossi – Inventor!

KING of acapella

The Highly Respected New Energy Times

(no paper consumed in this valiant effort to change Teh Whirl)

“You can’t provide energy for the future by burning anything.”
[UNNAMED!] – New Energy Institute Founding Sponsor

“I am sure that the E-Cats will evolve, like the Ford T evolved in a 2011 NASCAR Ford.”

intelligent design, fuckers!

An examination of the patent may be found here

you can tell everybody

aluminium foil & electricians tape…

could be a song…

Scepticism available here

On January 14, 2011, Andrea Rossi and Sergio Focardi gave the worlds’ first public demonstration of a nickel-hydrogen fusion reactor capable of producing thermal power. If their extraordinary claims turn out to be true, this mysterious E-Cat would be one of the greatest inventions of mankind ever.

However, as we all know:  “Extraordinary claims, require extraordinary evidence

And maybe Andrea Rossi knows: “Extraordinary scams, require extraordinary claims

Video of the Ecat test in Bologna October 6, 2011,  at

You Tube of that here, along with many other YTs

the big silver box!

this be alla our thang, eh? needs more foils...



The Ubiquitous Triclosan


Evil lurks, Parishioners,
in our household goods.

I have recently been alerted
(The Ubiquitous Triclosan, by Aviva Glaser)

on your dishes, all over your body

to The Terror That Is Triclosan!!!


5-chloro-2-(2,4-dichlorophenoxy)phenol, 2,4,4′-trichloro-2′-hydroxydiphenyl ether, 5-chloro-(2,4-dichlorophenoxy)phenol, trichloro-2′-hydroxydiphenyl ether, Microban, Irgasan DP-300, Lexol 300, Ster-Zac, Cloxifenolum, Biofresh CH-3565, Lexol 300, Irgasan DP 300.


Triclosan is a white powdered solid with a slight aromatic/phenolic odor. It is a chlorinated aromatic compound that has functional groups representative of both ethers and phenols. Triclosan is only slightly soluble in water, but soluble in ethanol, methanol, diethyl ether, and strong basic solutions such as 1M sodium hydroxide. Triclosan can be synthesized from 2,4-dichlorophenol. Some common impurities are: 2,4-dichlorophenol, 3-chlorophenol, 4-chlorophenol, 2,3,7,8-tetrachlorodibenzo-p-dioxin, 2,3,7,8-tetrachlorodibenzo-p-furan, 2,8-dichlorobenzo-furan, 2,8-dichlorobenzo-p-dioxin, 1,3,7-trichlorodibenzo-p-dioxin and 2,4,8-trichlorodibenzo-furan.

CAS # 3380-34-5
“There is a disinfectant showing up in hundreds of common consumer products that is raising serious cause for concern. The chemical, Triclosan, is a synthetic, broad-spectrum antimicrobial agent that in recent years has exploded onto the consumer market in a wide variety of antibacterial soaps, deodorants, toothpastes, cosmetics, fabrics, plastics, and other products. Studies have increasingly linked Triclosan to a range of health and environmental effects, from skin irritation, allergy susceptibility, bacterial and compounded antibiotic resistant, and dioxin contamination to destruction of fragile aquatic ecosystems.

According to the American Medical Association, “Despite their recent proliferation in consumer products, the use of antimicrobial agents such as Triclosan in consumer products has not been studied extensively. No data exist to support their efficacy when used in such products or any need for them…it may be prudent to avoid the use of antimicrobial agents in consumer products…”

You heard it here, Parishioners!

helps prevent cavities • gingivitis • plaque
Triclosan is an ingredient added to many consumer products to reduce or prevent bacterial contamination.
It may be found in products such as clothing, kitchenware, furniture, and toys. It also may be added to antibacterial soaps and body washes, toothpastes, and some cosmetics.


In 1997, FDA reviewed extensive effectiveness data on Triclosan in Colgate Total toothpaste. The evidence showed that Triclosan in this product was effective in preventing gingivitis.

The symptoms of gingivitis are somewhat non-specific

Animal studies have shown that Triclosan alters hormone regulation

The overall survival rate for conjoined twins is approximately 25%

Triclosan is so ubiquitous that it is found in the urine of 75 percent of the population, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.


Recent scientific studies raise questions about whether Triclosan disrupts the body’s endocrine system and whether it helps to create bacteria that are resistant to antibiotics.
Edward J. Markey, Democrat from Massachusetts, wants Triclosan banned from all products designed for children and any product that comes into contact with food. Other countries have banned or restricted use of the chemical.


Brian Sansoni of the Soap and Detergent Association, which represents the $30 billion U.S. cleaning products industry, said “It’s more important than ever that consumers continue to have access to these products. It’s a time of increased threats from disease and germs!”


Brian Sansoni, spokesman for the American Cleaning Institute, said the evidence against Triclosan was hardly convincing.

Fashion Stylist Note: We try our best to keep our Ajax Online Catalog updated with new designer fashions and accessories

Triclosan was developed as a surgical scrub for medical professionals. It is also used in pesticides. It can be found in everything!


The FDA has been working for 38 years to establish the rules for the use of Triclosan but has not completed that task.
A 2006 study concluded that low doses of Triclosan act as an endocrine disruptor in the North American bullfrog.

The frog was reportedly found at a children's day nursery in the English village of Weston Super-Mare


Reports have suggested that Triclosan can combine with chlorine in tap water to form chloroform.


Triclosan is a chlorophenol, a class of chemicals which is suspected of causing cancer in humans. Externally, phenol can cause a variety of skin irritations. Taken internally, phenol can lead to cold sweats, circulatory collapse, convulsions, coma and death. Additionally, chlorinated hydrocarbon pesticides can be stored in body fat, accumulating to toxic levels. Long term exposure to pesticides damages the liver, kidneys, heart and lungs, suppresses the immune system, and causes hormonal disruption, paralysis, sterility and brain haemorrhages.

Endurance condoms contain a special lubricant that helps to control climax and prolong male sexual excitement
Dioxins, PCBs, chlorophenols and many pesticides are persistent organic pollutants. They persist in the environment and accumulate to higher and higher concentrations with each step up the food chain. Every creature on earth has these pollutants in its body fat. Once absorbed into the fat cells, it is nearly impossible to eliminate these compounds. Triclosan is among this class of chemicals, and humans are among the animals at the top of the food chain. The health risks are considerable.

could Old Spice have prevented this?

For Triclosan, the science is changing” said Doug Throckmorton, deputy director of the FDA’s Center for Drug Evaluation and Research.



Arnold H. Kegel  M.D., F.A.C.S. (1894–1981) was a gynecologist, Parishioners, who invented the Kegel Perineometer (used for measuring vaginal air pressure) and Kegel exercises (squeezing of the muscles of the pelvic floor) as non-surgical treatment of genital relaxation. Today pelvic floor exercises are widely held as first-line treatment for urinary stress incontinence and female genital prolapse.

how's my vaginal air pressure?

CONSPIRACY, Parishioners!

What Your Doctor Is Not Telling You!

In the 1940’s, gynecologist Arnold Kegel discovered that stronger P.C.’s (Pubococcygeus) meant better bladder control for women. Dubbed Kegels, his simple exercises – tensing and relaxing the P.C.’s also had a welcoming side effect: heightened pleasure during intercourse.

heightened sexual pleasure!

Dr. Kegel never intended the so called “Kegel Exercises” to be performed without the biofeedback device. Suggesting that a woman simply do “Kegels” provides minimal results. See The Bastardization Of Dr. Kegel’s Exercises by By John D. Perry, PhD & Leslie Talcott Hullett, MS, RN.

Kegel exercises were originally developed as a method of controlling incontinence in women following childbirth. These exercises are now recommended for women with urinary stress incontinence. The principle behind Kegel exercises is to strengthen the muscles of the pelvic floor, thereby improving the urethral and/or rectal sphincter function. However, without the biofeedback device, Kegel exercises alone, just don’t work.

The Kegel Master -Your Sexuality is Your Power!

The demand for relief from incontinence has spawned a multi-billion dollar market for pharmaceutical companies, doctors, and diaper manufacturers. Because of this fact, any effective solution is unpalatable to the medical community. Medicines, diapers, and surgery are much more profitable.


Thanx, God!

AND, Brothers,

it’s not just for The Ladeez:

You will be able to have better sex by being able to better control your orgasms and ejaculations, and last for longer,

plus you may get the added kudos of being able to hold up a wet towel with your erection if you practice these Kegel exercises for men.

How do I know where my PC muscles are?

The easiest way to find them is to stop your flow of urine next time you go to the bathroom.

Another way to isolate them is to put your finger inside your anus;

when you contract the right muscles, your anus will tighten.



keep your balls alive!

one in every six men experience prostatitis

Second Big Suit on The Moon


just couldn’t resist

I was the only other person there . . .

Blessings to our fearless cosmonauts!

Le Rev Dr

Fuck You, Elkanah fucking Settle!


“A flash in the pan”
Common definition: Something showy that initially impresses but doesn’t bring any real results. (e.g. “The singer’s career as Elvis’s long lost brother was just a flash in the pan.”)

First use: The term has been known since the late 17th century. Elkanah Settle, arse-licker of the Earl of Nowich, in Reflections on several of Mr. Dryden’s plays, 1687, had this to say: “If Cannons were so well bred in his Metaphor as only to flash in the Pan, I dare lay an even wager that Mr. Dryden durst venture to Sea.”

Dorset Gardens - the Home of True Poesy

WAAL; FUCK YOU, SETTLE ! (if that is your real name, arselicker; you fucking coward!) –
you didn’t even write Notes and Observations on the Empress of Morocco” –
(probably that pitiful treacherous plagiarist clod Shadwell )
– you never even met her!
Maya told me you asked for an audience
but she told her secretary to tell you to fuck off –
you fucking lying shit!

May Mr Johnny Cash
dip your hand in warm water
for the rest of your few remaining days!

Jack & me
went to sea (or – as you so pretentiously spell it – “Sea”)
(in a beautiful pea-green boat; fuck you!)
two guys, out on The Waters
many a time!
BEER & FISH make a writer; fuck you!
(oh, bad luck; Hemingway…)
[fuck you – Fitz NEVER even left The Shore –
but look at the joi he brought to you miserable critics!
An Inspiration to SO many many terribly much worserer writers!]
{oh, fuck; why wasn’t he wearing the scarf..?}

Able Seaman Jack Dryden

Jack Dryden was an excellent Navigateur
and good all round on deck –
no loose ties,
nothan rattlan round ,
good with a knife,
a fine hand;
excellent company.

* * *

AND you can get fucked AGAIN, SETTLE! (if that is your real name, arselicker; you fucking arselicking coward!)
DO NOT invent stories about My King!

There was no “long lost brother”
’twas a Myth created by me, Mr Tom Waits, Br Leonard Cohen & Jenny from The Jennys
after a couple o’ tequilas & such.

There is, however, a story
about The Brother Who Lived
(which cannot be supported in fact
but endures to this day)
& is ridiculously conflated
with the History of Mr Johnny Cash

The King and Johnny Cash

but, really, can’t we just put this all behind us?

DAMMIT! – why does cactus have this effect on normally decent humans?

Jack & Alex were right – you are Dulness’ bitch!
(but I must admit that you have succeeded in infecting the entire UK (with the possible exception of Wales – ta, Dylan) with decay, imbecility, tastelessness and an inability to deal with either the spoken or written languages –oh; and, perhaps, The Entire World!)
However, I hear you ended up playing a dragon
in a hand-made green leather suit in a fucking market!

Oh, World Domination!

I thank the Brothers of the Charterhouse

for spoon-feeding you gruel
and wiping your worthless arse
until you so graciously died.

Get fucked, SETTLE, you arselicking, plagiarising coward!
The Spectre of Spartacus shall be ON YOUR ARSE immediately!
NO RESPITE in Hell either – DO NOT SLEEP!!!


May Jesu take pity ‘pon your soul.

Every Day Carry


Parishioners know that I am not a man of violence by any means;

preferring to reason with people holding differing ideas & attitudes.

Nonetheless, I do like to Be Prepared whenever I sally forth from The Reverendry.

This fellow has a particularly enlightening approach to preparedness –

his EDC and accoutrements (yes, ‘Tish, that’s French!)  are a little more versatile than my Go Bag,

but nowhere near as sexy!

My approach toward preparedness involves a series of increasingly comprehensive stand-alone modules, starting with my standard EDC at the top of the pyramid, then my supplemental EDC, a Go Bag, various vehicle kits, a GHB, my BoB (that I continually add/subtract individual modules to adapt to a particular situation), an INCH bag, and finally a safe room in my home where most everything is kept (along with several items that are simply too large/heavy/impractical to ever become mobile).

My standard EDC (at least as I choose to define it here) are items that I consistently have in my pockets anytime that I venture outside my neighborhood. [my italics] It does not include food, water, shelter, or the numerous other items that I carry in my laptop shoulder bag (when I actually use one), my Go Bag (which is always within close reach of me whether at home, in the car, or at the office) or the specialty items that I routinely carry when I venture into the wilderness.

AND he has a BMW!

I generally wear TNF Paramount convertible pants, so the Gerber is located in the RH vertical slit pocket, the keychain and mini Bic lighter are in the right front pocket, the MSK in the right front zippered pocket, and a second mini Bic lighter with an o-ring around the top to prevent accidental discharge of butane (not shown) and the OTC medications are carried in the left front pocket. I carry two lighters for the simple reason that I smoke, so the first is the one that I use daily, while the second one remains unused (insuring that I always have a full lighter if needed).

Although not truly EDC by my definition, I generally carry a Glock G27 .40 S&W with two spare magazines anytime that I leave the house, although more often than not it stays in the car while I am at the office, traveling by air to an event, or if I’m meeting with customers/clients.

remember, no liquids allowed...

Bless his little heed!

The Great Eskimo Vocabulary Hoax


The Legendary Wikipedia Contrail, Parishioners,
tracks me here.

I now present The Great Eskimo Vocabulary Hoax!
You know all that stuff about Eskimos having 200 words for snow?
Urban Legend…

Reminded of Eskimaux, I must now mention The Savage Innocents

savage, sensational drama

Also Known As:
Dents du Diable, Les (France) (that’s French, ‘Tish)
Ombre Bianche (Italy)
Top of the World (USA) (working title)

let me tell you this...

I am dead sure I have lauded Zorba Quinn in this site –

but cannot for the life of me find him!
(Blessings for anyone who can track him down…)

You were sleeping, English...


The Great Peter O’Toole
played a Mountie (pun intended)
got dubbed over
asked to be removed from the credits
then made friends with Our Favourite Chihuahuan
who played Auda Abu Tayi in Lawrence of Arabia!

Diminutive, graceful, porcelain pretty Japanese actress Yoko Tani was born and raised in France and was making a living as a Parisienne dancer when opportunities for film came her way in the mid-1950s.

Parisienne, 'Tish...

‘Tis indeed A Small Whirl, Parishioners…

The Full Catastrophe


Le Rev Dr

Inuk and Asiak

No More Sites; EVAH!

Relax, Parishioners;

smokem iffn yo gotsem.

I clung to the cheaper Chinese version of these and still made it back to shore

there shall be no other sites EVAH:

WikiScanner: List anonymous wikipedia edits from interesting organizations

Now with mashable JSON! by Virgil Griffith    virgil at caltech dot edu[ media ppl are required read this before asking questions ]

<!–“Wikipedia is like SecondLife for corporations…WikiScanner threatens a concept that’s even more American than democracy.” -Stephen Colbert

–> <!–For those who keep asking for ‘specify by title’ to be turned back on: I’m working on it, you’ll get it soon. Stop mailing me for it. Thanks. -Virgil

–>Hello Wired, boingboing, (and the list goes on…) watchers!

WikiScanner is available for English, Nederlands, 中文, Polski, Italiano, Deutsch, Français, and 日本語 Wikipedia.

Specify by the Organization’s…
Name: <— Type organization name here
or / and
Location: <— Don’t abbreviate here
Specify by Wikipedia page
Page Title <— Type a wikipedia article title here

User-submitted Organizations
Select IP range by owner University of Alabama University of Waterloo in Rome University of Waterloo West Virginia University WINEP Think Tank Imperial College London MVV Energie AG DaimlerChrysler denic DaimlerChrysler…

many, many more here…

…Yahoo Inc. Yahoo Inc. CIA cia CIA Mike Jackson MIke JACKSON carnival riordan high school Nintendo MIKE JACKSON Mike JACKSON BND BND2 BND2 Qwest Communications Qwest Communications Macalester College

Know the IP range(s) of an interesting
organization that we don’t?
Specify it!
Specify by IP Range
Range 1
Range 2 optional
Range 3 optional
Range 4 optional

Searching 34,417,493 wikipedia edits from February 7th, 2002 to August 4th, 2007 orginating from 187,529 different organizations. Special thanks to Dan Kaminsky, Joshua Schachter, Aza Raskin from Humanized, and the Santa Fe Institute.[ derive mother’s maiden names ] [ FAQ ]

The Case

is a bit better than My Go Bag

My Go Bag


What a day, Parishioners –
I went to Melbourne!

An interview for a position in a New Parish!

All in all, a 14h day.

You may recall, Parishioneristas,
that I went down
to Melbourne Town.

It turns out that things turned out pretty well!

I am moving down
to Melbourne Town!

I must tell, however,
of My Go Bag.

I panicked for *DAYS* over this trip –
perhaps the most important interview o’ my life –

I spent at least seven days
preparing for this.

I knew EVERYTHING about the company
I knew EVERYTHING about the Directors and the Interviewers.

I prepared well.

I wore My Magic Suit.
ceci n\'est ce pas un bag
My Go Bag contained:

Minties (5)
Fisherman’s Friend Lozenges (some)
Band-Aids (4)
Sexy Harry Potter specs
(I wore my sexy sepia sunglasses)
[ & took out my Pirate earring]
red hankerchieif
eye drops (very useful!)
black pens (2)
red pen
blue pen
new black folder (+ documents)
codeine (4)
analgesic/calmative (1 bottle)
[nail file removed due to Nazi airline policies]
lip balm
ear plugs (2 only)
chewing gum (2 tablets)
cortisone cream
apples (2)
muffins (2- almonds & stuff – thank you Br T)

that’s about it.


Le Rev Dr