The Mars Bar Project


Been pondering, Parishioners,

‘pon Mars Bars…

usually being found in the imported or ethnic food sections

Now, while there is great confusion

(Chocolate bars sold as Mars vary in different regions of the world)

due to the various names – apparently known as a Milky Way in the US

and formulations – see lists o’ ingredients at the Institute of Candy Controversies

in Finland and other Nordic Countries, a standard Mars Bar weighs 47g

Dr C & I concerned ourselves with the Australian vershun –

similar to the UK & Canadian.



Now; we were wondering

whether each Mars bar is unique –

that is, would the pattern of chocolate on the top

be like a fingerprint –

or would they all be the same –

as if stamped from a mould.

blessing the experiment

To this end,

we purchased four bars –

(while the Mars family may be among the world’s billionaires,

we paid only $1 each for these –

they can afford to absorb the loss…)

two from a batch with a best-before date of 11-06-12

and two from a 21-05-12 batch,

thus covering both intra– and inter-batch variation.



The results are shown below:

Click to view a larger image

(Click here to see a larger image)

HA!  It appears Mars bars are unique!

Each bar an individual which can never be replicated;

a chocolatey chunk o’ History!



PS: While researchan this piece,

I ran across (thx WP) The VISIBLE MARS BAR Project:

Detailed analysis o’ British & American Mars Bars,

lotsa pics & some amusing animated GIFs.



A thorough comparative tasting of UK v US chocolate bars is here

The extortionist claimed to have poisoned seven Mars and Snickers bars at random stores

The first reports of deep-fried Mars bars being sold in Stonehaven,  Scotland, date back to 1995.

Rabbinical authorities declared that the products remained kosher for Jewish consumption

26 & 137 – Scientific PROOF of the Existence of God


I am, as you know, Parishioners,

of an Ecumenical disposition

and, if I may allow Seth a little Hubris,

rather well educated

but this is fucking hilarious!


Selected excerpts:

Kabbalah is a collection of secret ancient teachings. Kabbalah and the principles of Kabbalah were formulated and written down in ancient Hebrew 5,000 years before Christ

The Kabbalah Code is the scientific part of the writings of Kabbalah that reflect man’s understanding and speculation of the nature of the Universe through numbers 5,000 years before Christ that are in complete agreement with today’s modern scientific theories in physics, quantum mechanics, and string theory. It is amazing but the ideas embodied in the latest theories in physics can be found in the writings of Kabbalah 5,000 years before Christ

Kabbalah Tree of Life

Scientific PROOF of the Existence of God
by Bill SerGio, The Infomercial King™

Myself and other scientific researchers, physicists, and mathematicians believe that recent breaktthroughs in theoretical physics PROVE the existence of GOD.  I will present the proof here and it is amazing. We start by defining “God” and the properties that God must posses and then demonstrating that something exists in the Universe with those properties.

Definition of God: God is an entity that must have the following properties:

  • Omniscient. God must be All Knowing and have instantaneous knowledge of all things
  • Omnipresent. God must be present everywhere. Here on earth and in a galaxy a million light years away
  • Omnipotent. God must have unlimited power which we can define as the spontaneous ability to create unlimited amounts of energy or matter in any form
  • Self-Aware. God must be “self-aware”

In quantum mechanics it has already been proven that the Universe has ALL of these properties, and therefore, the Universe satisfies this definition of God and is, therefore, God. everything, ourselves included, is connect to and a part of everything else as eastern religion has stated for centuries. We are God and God is us and we are connected to all that exists

several recent proofs in theoretical physics have shown that the Universe must be “self-aware.”

The Ancient Kabbalah

Why Prayer Really Works Over 600 good scientific studies have demonstrated that prayer can heal sick persons. Indouble-blind, clincal cross-over study after study it has beendemonstrated that a group of people praying for a total stranger can affect the health outcome of that sick person thousands of miles away. Now that we know that all things in the Universe are connected through serveral dimensions of ZEO length it is easy to understand how prayer or thought can be instantly trasmitted to a person thousnads of miles away or millions of light-years away.

Kabbalah & String Theory Kabbalah is in complete agreement with science. A rabbi wrote down 5,000 before Christ a mathematical calculation to determine the age of the Universe—he calcualted that it was 13.5 BILLION years old. Unitil just a few years ago scientists believed the Universe was only 3 to 5 billion years old and recently a group of scientists shared the Nobel Prize for showing that the Universe was 13.5 Billion years old

click for full size image

It was written in the works of Kabbalah, 5,000 years before Christ, that the numbers, 26 and 137, which are said to be the fundamental numbers of the universe

Kabbalah teaches God is 26

(The Pixies, however, claim God is 7…)

Richard Feynman, recognized as our foremost authority on the subject of creation, a brilliant physicist, and Nobel Laureate, is quoted as saying that physicists ought to remind themselves of how much they dont know by putting a sign on the walls of their offices with the number, 137

Werner Heisenberg, another giant in the world of physics said that all the problems of quantum theory would disappear only when 137 was explained

Neils Bohr discovered that when electrons absorbed energy they jumped to higher orbits and that these jumps occur  at very specific distances from the nucleus. On his death bed he confessed that he derived these numbers from the number 26 in Kabb

The Kabbalists had an understanding of the structure of the hydrogen atom 5,000 years before Christ and they wrote down the EXACT sequence of numbers above representing the energy levels of the hydrogen atom

the Bohr Hydrogen atom

Bless The Infomercial King™

The Old Eberhard Faber Blackwing 602 Pencil versus The New Blackwing Pencil

Initially, Parishioners,

I simply updated a previous post with this Good News

The old Eberhard Faber Blackwing 602 pencil and the new Blackwing pencil

but it seems to have made quite a splash

boingboing brings me Good Thangs!


UPDATE: the photograph above comes from Br Michael Leddy at the commendable Orange Crate Art

who provides an extremely interesting review of the Blackwing

as well as providing links to other posts such as

Nelson Riddle on the Blackwing pencil
Stephen Sondheim on pencils, paper and
John Steinbeck on the Blackwing pencil

My sincere apologies Brother

This Blackwing thang is truly fascinating!

UPDATE: 17/6/11 boingboing reports that The new Palomino Blackwing 602 pencil is a fine tribute to the Eberhard Faber Blackwing 602

The comments are most amusing.

And because the pencil is no longer in production, a cult has formed around it.

Prehispanic Somatization


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Rembrandt does Tegretol

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The Harmala Diaries

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SS Harmala

The Enormous Complexity of Things ™


I have of late, Parishioners,

been thinkan ‘bout The Enormous Complexity of Things ™


how do y make pins?

How much would one pin cost to make?

What enormously sophisticated & expensive machinery would be required

to make something so simple & inexpensive?

Who would go to all that effort & expense?

Where’s the profit?

I wanted to know how they are made

Adam Smith employed the imagery of a pin factory as the perfect example of the intricate division of labor. In his book, Wealth of Nations, published in 1776, Smith described how one worker drew out the wire, another straightened it, a third cut the wire, the fourth sharpened one end, and another worker ground the opposite end for the attachment of the head. At the end of the process, the pins were polished and inserted into paper packets. These early pin factories produced just under 5,000 pins per day.

The Modern Manufacturing Process

In the modern pin manufacturing plant, hundreds of thousands of pins are produced daily. Although several United States companies produce and sell straight pins, virtually all of the manufacturing plants are in Asia.

  1. One-hundred-foot rolls of steel wire are unwound by means of a roll straightener. The end of each roll is threaded into the straightener, which pulls the wire flat. Rotating blades cut the wire into pre-set lengths, usually between 1-1.25 in (2.5-3.2 cm) long.
  2. The cut wire travels via conveyer belt to the next station where the heads are “stamped” on. One end of the wire is slammed against a block. This sharp blow causes the end to mushroom out from the shank of the wire and create a flattened head.
  3. The pins are loaded into a circular cavity where they are hung by their heads over large grinding wheels. The grinding wheels spin the pins around to sharpen them.
  4. To ensure a strong bond between the pins and the plating solution, the pins are cleaned by dipping them in an acid solution. They are then are placed in a rack and lowered into large electroplating tanks filled with a plating solution such as nickel sulfate. The pin rack is connected to the negative terminal of an external source of electricity. A second conductor is connected to the plating solution. A steady, direct electrical current of a low voltage, between one to six volts, is passed through the tanks. This causes the plating solution to coat the pins and give them a shiny finish.
  5. The shined pins are mechanically packed in pre-ordered amounts into plastic clamshell boxes or blister packs. Bar codes are mechanically affixed to each box or pack. The individual containers are then hand-packed into cartons for shipping.

Then today

reading Kottke

I came across an article entitled “I, Pencil

Leonard E. Read (1898-1983) founded FEE in 1946 and served as its president until his death. “I, Pencil,” his most famous essay, was first published in the December 1958 issue of The Freeman.

I am a lead pencil – the ordinary wooden pencil familiar to all boys and girls and adults who can read and write.*

* My official name is “Mongol 482” My many ingredients are assembled, fabricated, and finished by Eberhard Faber Pencil Company.

Writing is both my vocation and my avocation; that’s all I do.

Just as you cannot trace your family tree back very far, so is it impossible for me to name and explain all my antecedents. But I would like to suggest enough of them to impress upon you the richness and complexity of my background.

My family tree begins with what in fact is a tree, a cedar of straight grain that grows in Northern California and Oregon. Now contemplate all the saws and trucks and rope and the countless other gear used in harvesting and carting the cedar logs to the railroad siding. Think of all the persons and the numberless skills that went into their fabrication: the mining of ore, the making of steel and its refinement into saws, axes, motors; the growing of hemp and bringing it through all the stages to heavy and strong rope; the logging camps with their beds and mess halls, the cookery and the raising of all the foods. Why, untold thousands of persons had a hand in every cup of coffee the loggers drink!

The logs are shipped to a mill in San Leandro, California. Can you imagine the individuals who make flat cars and rails and railroad engines and who construct and install the communication systems incidental thereto? These legions are among my antecedents.

Consider the millwork in San Leandro. The cedar logs are cut into small, pencil-length slats less than one-fourth of an inch in thickness. These are kiln dried and then tinted for the same reason women put rouge on their faces. People prefer that I look pretty, not a pallid white. The slats are waxed and kiln dried again. How many skills went into the making of the tint and the kilns, into supplying the heat, the light and power, the belts, motors, and all the other things a mill requires? Sweepers in the mill among my ancestors? Yes, and included are the men who poured the concrete for the dam of a Pacific Gas & Electric Company hydroplant which supplies the mill’s power!

Don’t overlook the ancestors present and distant who have a hand in transporting sixty carloads of slats across the nation.

Once in the pencil factory – $4,000,000 in machinery and building, all capital accumulated by thrifty and saving parents of mine – each slat is given eight grooves by a complex machine, after which another machine lays leads in every other slat, applies glue, and places another slat atop – a lead sandwich, so to speak. Seven brothers and I are mechanically carved from this “wood-clinched” sandwich.

My “lead” itself – it contains no lead at all – is complex. The graphite is mined in Ceylon. Consider these miners and those who make their many tools and the makers of the paper sacks in which the graphite is shipped and those who make the string that ties the sacks and those who put them aboard ships and those who make the ships. Even the lighthouse keepers along the way assisted in my birth – and the harbor pilots.

The graphite is mixed with clay from Mississippi in which ammonium hydroxide is used in the refining process. Then wetting agents are added such as sulfonated tallow – animal fats chemically reacted with sulfuric acid. After passing through numerous machines, the mixture finally appears as endless extrusions – as from a sausage grinder – cut to size, dried, and baked for several hours at 1,850 degrees Fahrenheit. To increase their strength and smoothness the leads are then treated with a hot mixture which includes candelilla wax from Mexico, paraffin wax, and hydrogenated natural fats.

My cedar receives six coats of lacquer. Do you know all the ingredients of lacquer? Who would think that the growers of castor beans and the refiners of castor oil are a part of it? They are. Why, even the processes by which the lacquer is made a beautiful yellow involves the skills of more persons than one can enumerate!

Observe the labeling. That’s a film formed by applying heat to carbon black mixed with resins. How do you make resins and what, pray, is carbon black?

My bit of metal – the ferrule – is brass. Think of all the persons who mine zinc and copper and those who have the skills to make shiny sheet brass from these products of nature. Those black rings on my ferrule are black nickel. What is black nickel and how is it applied? The complete story of why the center of my ferrule has no black nickel on it would take pages to explain.

Then there’s my crowning glory, inelegantly referred to in the trade as “the plug,” the part man uses to erase the errors he makes with me. An ingredient called “factice” is what does the erasing. It is a rubber-like product made by reacting rape-seed oil from the Dutch East Indies with sulfur chloride. Rubber, contrary to the common notion, is only for binding purposes. Then, too, there are numerous vulcanizing and accelerating agents. The pumice comes from Italy; and the pigment which gives “the plug” its color is cadmium sulfide.

This, Parishioners,

is what keeps me from Sleep

* * * UPDATE * * *

BoingBoing roadtests the new Blackwing pencil

• NB has a stronger, spicy smell. Reminded me of Indian food. Not unpleasant. OB’s smell is faint, but this could be due to its age (at least 2 years old)

• NB is quieter on the paper

New Blackwing pencil v Old Eberhard Faber Blackwing 602 pencil



Doctor C & I wend (ha! Wendy!) thru The Parish,

choosan flowers

choosan flowers

A Gentleman cuts a Fine Figure in a frockcoat
especially on a grey Melbourne morn

NOONE dare fuck with A Gentleman in a Frockcoat!

I SO enjoi my time with The Doctor

me & Dr C

she said a pinch & a punch for the first of the month

white rabbits white rabbits white rabbits

and then y hafta turn yr wedding ring around

I twirled her earrings
licked the silver
stuck my filthy tongue in her ear
kissed her brow
and snuggled into her neck

I love her

white rabbits white rabbits

Doctor C & I turn our Great Minds
to more concernan matters:

how was silk ever discovered?

why can’t we have clouds in the house?
(next million dollars!)

why can’t we have weather in the house?
(next bourgognillion dollars!)

What can we do about these weeds?

Dollars jus’ waitan…

white rabbits white rabbits white rabbits she says

and you hafta turn your wedding ring around

I miss her already

What are we to do about these weeds?

chasing down the dandelions

running wildly into the wind
chasing down the dandelions
before they turn into weeds

I think your weeds are charming.

what are we to do about these weeds?

New Melanie

Jesu, Parishioners –



I never imagined this would happen again –

it’s happening again…

Spanish Candy - is that Candida?

show details 15:04 (5 hours ago)



I am in  trubble

you know how when xxxx was away
I got seth in a whole fuckan mess o trubble?

I am in trubble

not even a hint
but I am*feelan* it…

she is 18
and *Possible*!!!

perhaps this Purge
shall purge me…

Jesu, Beloved Lilac Jesu,
hopefully it’s just the migraine…

[but really, she is beautiful!]


Reply to all


* * *

Subject: trubble
– Show quoted text –

I would inter-vent if I possibly could. Suffice to remind you what happened to Pollock, J. when he pulled the same stunt at about the same time of life.

The Science of Irreducible Loveliness

show details 20:42 (8 minutes ago)



this is where is all started falling to bits!

I am, however, wasted on codeine…


I am screwing my courage to Ling Po and hoping for the Best
she is my Private Secret Baby
but I cannot trust Seth.
I may only caress her in his Dreams…
(unlike that nerdy Pony chick in those crime series
who is routinely violated regardless of her appearance on TV)

Imagine that (again & again), Sir;
A Private Secret Lady

all of your own…

Laudanum & a Trust fund

I fucking miss you my Brother


Published in: on January 20, 2009 at 10:29 AM  Leave a Comment  

Helicopter Experts – Update

Parishioners may be familiar with the raging debate
concerning helicopters
and holes in Gods Good Earth;
as archived here.

A BoingBoing article suggests an update:

moments later the helicopter may be a heap of scrap

The concept of ground resonance

is explained here, Parishioners.

Bless our fallen.

Le Rev Dr

One Man Laughing


There is Only One Man, Parishioners,

who might possibly know these thangs;

I’m afraid
he’s from Varcelona…

Here we go:

who is the bass player from

Chicago (better not be Peter Cetera – the only one I know –
and only because I make a joke of his name…)

tyler-just-tyler - MISTER TYLER to you

Van Halen
The Charley Daniels Band
The Prince Band
J. Geils Band
Air Supply
The Band Band
The Ray Liotta Band
The Elton John Band (I cannot listen to Daniel without lighting something)
Mister Children
Moving Pictures
The Gary Neuman Band
The ‘NSync Band (& cetera – STOP THIS NOW!!!)
The Warren Zevon Band (bonus points!)
Talk Talk
Magic Dirt (sorry, ‘Lita…)
Little River Band
Tears For Fears
Atomic Kitten Band (OH – Spice Gurls!)

As you know, I’m androgynous. I can wear a jacket that most guys wouldn’t put on. But you make it in guys’ sizes, and suddenly they’re wearing them. I think styles should get back to getting people to wear things that look so good that they don’t care.

Every life has a measure of sorrow, and sometimes this is what awakens us.

Y’all know who that is…

Blessings, Chilluns,

Le Rev Dr