Obama meets His Holiness

Yea, Parishioners,

POTUS (rhymes with Otis!) has met His Holiness

Hypocrisy reigns…


the White House issued a statement in which Obama stressed the U.S. policy that “Tibet is a part of the People’s Republic of China and the United States does not support independence for Tibet.”


But the Dalai Lama himself does not propose “independence,” per se, which makes the president’s statement seem all the more like an attempt to placate China.


In a statement released after the 45-minute meeting, White House spokesman Jay Carney said Obama also “underscored the importance of the protection of human rights of Tibetans in China,”


Yea, Parishioners, Hypocrisy reigns…

make me one with everything

GOOD shall win!

Bastille Day 2011


Le Quattorze Juillet rolls ’round again, Parishioners!

I like to mark this occasion by introducing a little French (‘Tish) culture.

We did this last year

and several years before that (no longer online?)

On s’en vas!

I think I'm being friendly with someone and I'll sit in their lap. They think I'm flirting with them - Kylie Minogue

3/16/5: “Why We Celebrate Bastille Day in Oz”

lifted directly from Open Brackets (sadly, no longer with us):

Which leads nicely into one of my favourite things about the French: because of their endless passion for debate and self-examination, there’s probably nothing you can say about them that they haven’t already said themselves. And, should you come up with a new salient point, you’ll probably get invited onto one of the slew of talk shows to sip wine while sprawled on a couch, sparing off with a band of the country’s professional intellectuals.

Now, should you think, oh, yawn, here’s a little something that happened on a much fluffier show not long ago.

It’s a nightly talk show where a sort of random group of guests – actors, singers, writers and politicians with something to peddle – sit perched round a large bar-height table to babble about things important and really not. One of the guests on this show was Djamel Debbouze (an increasingly ubiquitous personality here, and known to most as the one-armed grocery clerk in Amélie Poulain). When the host announces that the next guest is Kylie Minogue, Djamel says that he speaks English, so can act as interpreter.

Now Kylie’s come out and settled in her stool, and the grinning host oozes the usual bland question about her latest album, then Djamel turns to K to provide the translation.

“Kylie,” he says, “I want to fuck you.” Three seconds of absolute silence, then the audience goes wild. Kylie sits there in close-up for a small eternity, just staring, mouth open and tears welling up in her eyes. Then she lunges from her stool and runs off stage (at Olympic speed!), oh-ohing! and weeping.

Now the guests are all laughing their faces off as the very flappable host begins to berate Djamel, and plead with him to apologise. Things are getting out of control. Finally, Djamel says, okay, okay, bring her out. But she won’t come out; she’s sitting in the greenroom waiting for an apology. So close-up now on a remorseful Djamel who peers into the camera and says, “Kylie… Kylie, I’m sorry. I want to fuck you.”

Since I've been in Playboy myself in Australia, I love it, and I think it's really empowering and positive towards women - Dannii Minogue


On Thursday, May 26th, at 23:43 e.s.t, Brother B said:

This demands Further Enquiries. One of the few references I could find:

The war between Cauet and Arthur (which hates it) feeds the gazettes regularly. With the origin of this fight, remarks made by Cauet in 1995, with the antenna of Radio operator Fun, on the concentration camps. “I was 21 years old, I caught the large head, carried a little in a spiral where the bad choice is made and where nobody does not accompany you. With time, one becomes more considered.” Today, the brawl slipped on a more professional level. But of the guests skid regularly in plate (like, lately, Jamel saying to Dannii Minogue: “I want to fuck you”, which made flee the singer). The media speak about it, the public also, and that done of the advertizing to the emission. The young people find Cauet rebellious, the old men have the feeling of encanailler. And everyone looks at: “It is estimated that 60% of the televiewers fall at one time or another on the Cauet Method, Frederic Degouy underlines, of Mediacom. The advertisers of the emission are also principal market: of all the talk-shows, it is most federator.” A well ground method.

* * *

On Friday, May 27th, at 11:58 e.s.t, Le Rev Dr said:

A comment on the above post reads:

Gainsbourg did almost the exact same thing with Whitney Houston sometime in the late 80’s. Very funny moment, I remember that it was in the “best of” clips shown just after his death.

Jamel didn’t invent it, just resurrected an oldie. But kudos to him for it!

Gay icons usually have some tragedy in their lives, but I've only had tragic haircuts and outfits – Kylie Minogue (cancer doesn't matter)

SO we go searching

and find:

NME’s 100 Top Rock Moments

41. Serge Gainsbourg tells Whitney Houston that he’d “like to fuck” her

Serge Gainsbourg, ugly bastard though he was, was nonetheless possessed of the kind of sleazy charm which certain women (Bardot, Birkin, Bambou, and scores of other French hussies whose names begin with B) found irresistible. Not so ’80s pop screecher Whitney Houston, who at the time of this meeting was yet to descend into every tabloid’s favourite pop casualty, but was a squeaky-clean purveyor of hi-octane, big-hair power ballads.

By a curious quirk of fate, both were invited to perform on the live French equivalent of ‘The Des O’Connor Show’ in the mid-’80s. Whitney hollered her way through a number, then sat down next to the, er, somewhat soused Monsieur G, ready to be interviewed by the show’s host.

Halfway through the sterile chinwag, however, Serge suddenly mumbled, “I want to fuck her.”

Whitney – unable to believe what she’d heard – exclaimed, “What did he say?” The flustered host, trying to intervene, blathered, “He wanted to offer you flowers.” Serge was having none of this: “Don’t translate for me,” he growled, obviously heavily pissed-up on booze. Then, just to clarify matters: “I said I wanted to fuck her.”

Whitney, for perhaps the only time in her career, was reduced to silence. Nice one, Serge.

We have been great admirers of Mr Gainsbourg for some time…

The YouTube is here

"I said I wanted to fuck her"

Joyeux Quatorze Juillet, Parishioners!



Kylie joins the Salvation Army

Kylie, your NAM Northern California Teen Queen, volunteering at the Salvation Army. Go Kylie - so cool seeing a National American Miss banner in the mix!

Yes, Parishioners,

it was Dannii, not Kylie
(I have a longer, better vershun but can’t post it here becuz .flvs aren’t allowed,
can’t post it on youtube becuz of some copyright shit…)

Animated GIFs


Readan, Parishioners,

an article by Anil DashAnimated GIFs Triumphant (thx boingboing)

GIF’s origins are modest. The Graphics Interchange Format was introduced by Compuserve in 1987 with a specification published by the late Larry Wood. By just two years later, GIF had grown popular enough that the specification was updated, with a fairly rudimentary ability to display multiple images bolted onto the specification. (The spec warned, “The Graphics Interchange Format is not intended as a platform for animation, even though it can be done in a limited way.”)As the browser wars heated up, Netscape decided to embrace the primitive-but-fun animation capability of the image format, and made it part of their browser.

 While most museums of GIFs pay homage to their shlocky, tacky ubiquity in the pre-social era of the web, the format today has evolved into a transcendent, expressive medium.

I followed a few links (DO IT!)

and thought I should post a few examples

My Favourite:

I can also be MANY people inside of my mind

Shlocky, Tacky, Classic:

well-recognized for her outré sense of style

I told him we already got one…

hot Hot HOT!

I've always wanted to try this!

I just had to put this in – I discovered it around 1998

& used it in my first ever (unpublished) website.


Walk This Way, Parishioners!

Transcendent, Expressive:

(Especial Blessings to From Me To You)

Lovely indeed

oh so Coco

Lest We Forget:

The original sample source file was produced and prepared by the development team of the ground-breaking 3D character animation software product Character Studio (used with 3D Studio Max, both products from Kinetix/Autodesk)

Malcolm Loses It


Reading this excellent Playboy interview, Parishioners, with Miles Davis (thx Kottke!)

by Alex Haley, September 1, 1962

Have you always been so sensitive about being a Negro?

I noticed that the next interview was with Malcolm X

also by Alex Haley, May 1, 1963.

Having read his autobiography (as told to Alex Haley),


the most important book I'll ever read

I was most interested & dove into it.

Begins rather well,

with Br X coming off as a thoughtful, respectful dude,

(although with an agenda to push)

praising the Honorable Elijah Mohammed

for enlightening him

but he gradually loses it…


Some excerpts:

Malcolm X: Insofar as the Christian world is concerned, dictatorships have existed only in areas or countries where you have Roman Catholicism. Catholicism conditions your mind for dictators. Can you think of a single Protestant country that has ever produced a dictator?

Playboy: Germany was predominantly Protestant when Hitler-

Power in defense of freedom is greater than power in behalf of tyranny and oppression.

The Jews pooled their money and bought the hotels that barred them [Negroes]. They bought Atlantic City and Miami Beach and anything else they wanted. Who owns Hollywood? Who runs the garment industry, the largest industry in New York City?

No, when there’s something worth owning, the Jew’s got it. Walk up and down in any Negro ghetto in America. Ninety percent of the worthwhile businesses you see are Jew-owned. Every night they take the money out. This helps the black man’s community stay a ghetto.

* * *

Playboy: Then you consider it impossible for the white man to be anything but an exploiter and a hypocrite in his relations with the Negro?

Malcolm X: White people are born devils by nature. They don’t become so by deeds.

Playboy: You say that white men are devils by nature. Was Christ a devil?

Malcolm X: Christ wasn’t white. Christ was a black man.

Playboy: On what Scripture do you base this assertion?

Malcolm X: Sir, Billy Graham has made the same statement in public. Why not ask him what Scripture he found it in? When Pope Pius XII died, Life magazine carried a picture of him in his private study kneeling before a black Christ.

Playboy: Those are hardly quotations from Scripture. Was He not reviled as “King of the Jews” – a people the Black Muslims attack?

Malcolm X: Only the poor, brainwashed American Negro has been made to believe that Christ was white, to maneuver him into worshiping the white man.

Be peaceful, be courteous, obey the law, respect everyone; but if someone puts his hand on you, send him to the cemetery.

Malcolm X: Well, Hannibal, the most successful general that ever lived, was a black man. So was Beethoven; Beethoven’s father was one of the blackamoors that hired themselves out in Europe as professional soldiers. Haydn, Beethoven’s teacher, was of African descent. Columbus, the discoverer of America, was a half-black man.

Playboy: According to biographies considered definitive, Beethoven’s father, Johann, was a court tenor in Cologne; Haydn’t parents were Croatian; Columbus’ parents were Italian-

Malcolm X: Whole black empires, like the Moorish, have been whitened to hide the fact that a great black empire had conquered a white empire even before America was discovered. The Moorish civilization – black Africans – conquered and ruled Spain; they kept the light burning in Southern Europe. The word “Moor” means “black,” by the way. Egyptian civilization is a classic example of how the white man stole great African cultures and makes them appear today as white European. The black nation of Egypt is the only country that has a science named after its culture: Egyptology. The ancient Sumerians, a black-skinned people, occupied the Middle Eastern areas and were contemporary with the Egyptian civilization. The Incas, the Aztecs, the Mayans, all dark-skinned Indian people…

* * *

Malcolm X: Mr. Muhammad says that the red, the brown and the yellow are indeed all part of the black nation. Which means that black, brown, red, yellow, all are brothers, all are one family. The white one is a stranger. He’s the odd fellow.

Playboy: Since your classification of black peoples apparently includes the light-skinned Oriental, Middle Eastern and possibly even Latin races as well as the darker Indian and Negroid strains, just how do you decide how light-skinned it’s permissible to be before being condemned as white? And if Caucasian whites are devils by nature, do you classify people by degrees of devilishness according to the lightness of their skin?

Malcolm X: I don’t worry about these little technicalities.

I believe in human beings, and that all human beings should be respected as such, regardless of their color.

Thoughtful white people know they are inferior to black people. Even Eastland knows it. Anyone who has studied the genetic phase of biology knows that white is considered recessive and black is considered dominant. When you want strong coffee, you ask for black coffee. If you want it light, you want it weak, integrated with white milk. Just like these Negroes who weaken themselves and their race by this integrating and intermixing with whites. If you want bread with no nutritional value, you ask for white bread. All the good that was in it has been bleached out of it, and it will constipate you. If you want pure flour, you ask for dark flour, whole-wheat flour. If you want pure sugar, you want dark sugar.

The future belongs to those who prepare for it today.

…there is plenty wrong with Negroes. They have no society. They’re robots, automatons. No minds of their own. I hate to say that about us, but it’s the truth. They are a black body with a white brain. Like the monster Frankenstein. The top part is your bourgeois Negro. He’s your integrator. He’s not interested in his poor black brothers. He’s usually so deep in debt from trying to copy the white man’s social habits that he doesn’t have time to worry about nothing else. They buy the most expensive clothes and cars and eat the cheapest food. They act more like the white man than the white man does himself.

You don't have to be a man to fight for freedom. All you have to do is to be an intelligent human being.

I was finally caught and spent 77 months in three different prisons. But it was the greatest thing that ever happened to me, because it was in prison that I first heard the teachings of the Honorable Elijah Muhammad. His teachings were what turned me around. The first time I heard the Honorable Elijah Muhammad’s statement, “The white man is the devil,” it just clicked. I am a good example of why Islam is spreading so rapidly across the land. I was nothing but another convict, a semi-illiterate criminal.

"I didn't do it" he says, and he throws up his hands...

Playboy: Are you contradicting yourself by denouncing white supremacy while praising its practitioners, since you admit that you share their goal of separation?

Malcolm X: …I prefer the candor of the Southern segregationist to the hypocrisy of the Northern integrationist…

You can't separate peace from freedom because no one can be at peace unless he has his freedom.

Playboy: If Muslims ultimately gain control as you predict, do you plan to bestow “true freedom” on white people?

Malcolm X: It’s not a case of what would we do, it’s a case of what would God do with whites. What does a judge do with the guilty? Either the guilty atone, or God executes judgement.

I am for violence if non-violence means we continue postponing a solution to the American black man's problem just to avoid violence.
I believe in a religion that believes in freedom. Any time I have to accept a religion that won’t let me fight a battle for my people, I say to hell with that religion.


On March 8, 1964, Malcolm X publicly announced his break from the Nation of Islam. He said that he was still a Muslim, but he felt the Nation of Islam had “gone as far as it can” because of its rigid religious teachings. Malcolm X said he was going to organize a black nationalist organization that would try to “heighten the political consciousness” of African Americans. He also expressed his desire to work with other civil rights leaders and said that Elijah Muhammad had prevented him from doing so in the past.

One reason for the separation was growing tension between Malcolm X and Elijah Muhammad because of Malcolm X’s dismay about rumors of Muhammad’s extramarital affairs with young secretaries. Such actions were against the teachings of the Nation. Although at first Malcolm X ignored the rumors, he spoke with Muhammad’s son Wallace and the women making the accusations. He came to believe that they were true, and Muhammad confirmed the rumors in 1963.



Hank Chinaski, Parishioners,

the perpetually unemployed, alcohol-swilling Chinaski

has always been our favourite Barfly

A good list of Barfly movie quotes is here

all I need is *fuel*

Nothing but the dripping sink. Empty bottle. Euphoria. Youth fenced in, stabbed and shaved. Taut words propped up to die…

Most recently, Parishioners, I watched Factotum

a film about Hank Chinaski

the fictional alter-ego of Factotum author Charles Bukowski

which gives both a before and an after

to the period glamourised in Barfly.

"If you're going to try, go all the way"

NYT review here – much information!

the gold-digging floozy Laura

…few images telegraph the paradox of the American dream better than a drunk passed out in the shadow of Hollywood

Highly recommended!


OH – correcshiaan (that’s Oasis, ‘Tish) Major Omission – Marisa Tomei  – My Cousin Vinnie is one o teh bestest movies evah!

OH – and Clare Forlani!

OH – of course – Rosanna!

fuck you toto - the chorus pedal dissolved in 1917

Grant McLennan Stretches It


Grant McLennan Stretches It:

Grant Mclennan - stretchan like it's NOW!

The neighing of the horses in the moonlight woke him up
There was a line of ice across his cup
Except for the wind in the corn the world was perfectly still.
The moon hung over the window sill.

Ride on Black Mule

Just then four men on horses came riding up
and dragged him out into a clearing
They said “Listen here mister, if you don’t give us all your gold
we’re going to give you one hell of a beating”.

Ride on Black Mule

Just then nun on a black mule was riding by
She said “Oh, Gentlemen, what are you doing?
If you don’t leave that man right alone
I’m going to punish you for evil-doing”

Ride on Black Mule

He was walking down a Beirut street when a car-bomb blew him up.
Oh! Life can be cruel.
When they took him to the mortuary to identify his finger-prints
all they found were the hoof-prints of a mule.


Grant McLennan Stretches It.

A Better Life


Life, Parishioners, can be good.

All you hafta do

is all of this:


1. Walk More

If walking isn’t your style, find another form of fitness that works for you.

2. Eat Slower/Less

If you put your fork down in between bites, you will find yourself feeling better.

3. Drink More Water

Is your urine almost as clear as water?

clear as a mountain stream!

4. Drink Less Alcohol

There are a number of other problems associated with drinking booze, including poor sleep habits, dehydration, memory loss, and of course, one-night stands with horrifically ugly people.

5. Drink More Wine

Combine a daily glass of wine with a brisk, hour-long walk.

drinking more wine

6. Meditate/Breathe Deeply

If meditation can help patients who need open-heart surgery, imagine what it can do for you.

7. Stretch Your Muscles

Set a timer on your computer and do a little stretch once an hour.

8. Spend 10 Minutes Outside

Standing outside is (so far) free.

9. Cut Back on Caffeine

Caffeine is a funny kind of drug.. Choose coffee over Mountain Dew.

10. Drink a Cup of Tea

Drinking a cup of tea is healthy and smart.

11. Sleep More

If there is one single thing that you can do to improve your health today, getting more sleep should take priority.

12. Watch Less TV

It’s time to cut back on television. After all, you can get your news from the internet.

13. Laugh Your Ass Off

You don’t have to be an all-around mirthful person.

14. Quit Smoking

Do we really need any details on this one? Everyone knows how terrible smoking is for you. Just stop it. It’s gross.

Yes; must quit. Tomorrow.

15. Eat One (More) Serving of Fruit



How awesome is fruit?

16. Exercise Your Brain

Try keeping a journal. Even if you simply write down the most mundane things that have happened to you. [yay Twitter!]

17. Smile More

It can be hard to smile when you don’t feel happy.

18. Take Your Fish Oil

I always end up burping a gross, fishy scent for a couple of hours

19. Take a Hot Bath

A hot bath can help lower your blood sugar. It’s not something that should be done every single day.

20. Make Love, Not War

Seriously, having sex is not just awesomely fun, sex is good for you. Oh, yes, there are risks, so don’t do anything stupid.

more than just Friends

21. Floss Your Teeth

Flossing is significantly less interesting than having regular, rewarding sex.

22. Adopt a Pet

Assuming you have the financial capacity, having a pet can be a wonderful experience.

23. Get a Massage

Massage can be expensive, so seek out daily coupon email deals, massage schools, friends, and lower-priced massage centers.

24. Plant a Garden

Dry, pickle, or preserve whatever you can’t finish during the growing season, and keep the excitement of homegrown goodness year-round.

25. Take a Fiber Supplement

You don’t need to take anything special, just some Metamucil or Benefiber in the morning  and again before dinner.



Reduce/Eliminate Daily Luxuries


Prevent Repair Costs

Share Toys

Shop on a Full Stomach

Share Baby Clothes

Purchase Generic

Buy in Bulk

Turn off the Lights

Purchase Used Items

much cheaper used

Cut Food Costs

Reduce Reoccurring [sic] Costs

Give Up Caffeine

Let Your Gray Hair Grow

Learn Not to Give Too Much



Groom Your Dogs by Yourself

Don’t Have a Television

Drive Slowly

Go with Local/Seasonal for Flowers



Bargain with a Photographer

Put Your Wedding Online

Get Married on a Weekday

Stop Throwing Away Your Food

Start a Business

Change Jobs

Get a Second Job

Start Saving


See also 17 Uses For Stale Bread


lifted mainly from 25 Healthy Changes You Can Make Today

by Andrea Karim, Senior Writer, 24 May 2011

My grandmother, who spent a better part of her childhood in Nazi prison camps, instilled in her children a strong conviction that wasting food was downright sinful so I live in a rather paranoid world where refusing to take home your leftovers from a night of Chinese food is almost on par with punching a kitten

punch or grenade, kitty?


Sometimes, it’s the little things that make the biggest impact on our lives





There were several Tabathas until Erin Murphy took over the role in season five. Similarly, there were multiple babies…

One of several Tabathas

Murphy also starred on Hulk Hogan’s Celebrity Championship Wrestling series – Erin’s wrestling persona is Mistress of Mayhem

• Watch Erin and her giant Leon Berger puppy “Zuma” on Groomer Has It on Animal Planet
• Watch Erin use power tools and build flagstone steps on Over Your Head on HGTV
• Watch Erin on Disney family.com Parentpedia
• Watch for Erin hosting a tour of the Warner Brothers Ranch and Sunset Gower Studios on the upcoming Bewitched Box Set
• Erin is a luxury lifestyle writer for http://www.julib.com. Read her beauty picks
• Watch for Erin promoting Verge Living, a mixed-use residential / retail development in Downtown Las Vegas
• Erin is a regular panelist on the Reality Remix Weekend show on the Fox Reality Channel. Check your local listings for days and times.
• Watch Erin on CNN Headline News as a Celebrity With a Cause
• Watch Erin on several episodes of Craft Lab on the DIY Network
• Read an interview that Erin did in an upcoming issue of A & U Magazine
• Watch for Erin hosting the Ab Shark infomercial for Thane!
• Watch Erin on the E! Special: 50 Cutest Child Stars All Grown Up. Check your local listings

celebrity spokesperson
She is the celebrity spokesperson for Verge Living, her husband Darren is the president


You may know me as Clarissa or Sabrina but my favorite role yet is Mommy to my two little boys Mason and Braydon!

Clarissa or Sabrina?

Melissa was taken by surprise by her new-found fame and became more guarded and cautious about her surroundings and whom she associated herself with.

My Current Fan Mail Address is:
Melissa Joan Hart
1069 Main Street
Suite 397
Holbrook, NY 11741
Don’t forget a SASE that can hold an 8×10″ photo, and your DVD cover insert from NINE DEAD for me to sign!!
Thanks :)

Sabrina the Teenage Witch


This series is one of the single most Trope Overdosed and Lampshade Hanging shows in existence with over a thousand references strewn across this wiki.

This series also has its own Analysis page, Character Page, recap page, Crowning Moments of Awesome, Wild Mass Guessing, Ho Yay, Hey It’s that guy! page, Trivia page, Haiku page [yea!] and (of course) Headscratchers pages. Sadly, it has no Congressional pages. (That we know of.)

Buffy’s success has led to hundreds of tie-in products, including novels, comics, and video games

High school as a horror movie

Being a teen idol is what I’ve waited for my whole life
Sarah Michelle Gellar

Her nickname is Sassy

• She originated the role of Kendall Hart on the ABC daytime soap opera All My Children
• Gellar also played an ex-porn star in Richard Kelly’s Southland Tales
• Gellar was estranged from her father until his death from liver cancer
• At the audition, Gellar read her own lines
• As a child, Gellar modelled for magazines

She was voted worlds sexiest woman

• Gellar also met co-star Sydney Penny, with whom she remains friends
Les Liaisons Dangereuses featured a kiss between Gellar and co-star Selma Blair that won the two the “Best Kiss” award
• Gellar and co-star Ryan Phillippe developed a convincing emotional charge
• Gellar is effective as a bright girl who knows exactly how to use her act as a tramp
• She is only 5′ 3″ tall

"Rhonda the Immortal Waitress" was really the first incarnation of the Buffy concept

A young-looking witch named Samantha meets and marries a mortal named Darrin Stephens. While Samantha pledges to forsake her powers and become a typical suburban housewife, her magical family disapproves of the mixed marriage and frequently interferes in the couple’s lives. Most female witches have names ending with the soft “-a” sound. Most notably, Samantha often “twitches” her nose to perform a spell. The main setting for most scenes is the Stephens’ house at 1164 Morning Glory Circle. Samantha’s mother, Endora, is the chief antagonist. Endora loathes mortals. Samantha’s father, Maurice, is an urbane thespian.

The series is noted for having a number of major cast changes, often due to illness or death of the actors

Even though Elizabeth Montgomery played Samantha’s identical twin cousin, Pandora Spocks is credited as playing Serena starting in season 6 as an inside joke by Ms. Montgomery and her husband William Asher. The term is a corruption of Pandora’s Box.

In June 1992, Montgomery and her former Bewitched co-star Dick Sargent were Grand Marshals at the Los Angeles Gay Pride Parade

I want to be a woman and to have my own man

Minerva McGonagall

Minerva McGonagall is Deputy Headmistress, head of Gryffindor House, Professor of Transfiguration and Headmistress at Hogwarts. McGonagall is tall and rather severe-looking, with black hair typically drawn into a tight bun. She wears emerald green robes, a pointed hat, and always has a very prim expression. She is a sprightly 70-year-old and wears square spectacles that match the markings around the eyes of her Animagus form of a silver tabby cat. She has a fondness for tartan, and her handkerchief, dressing gown, and dress robes are patterned with it.

 an exceptional duellist capable of holding her own against much younger and more agile foes
Dame Margaret Natalie Smith, DBE, better known as Maggie Smith, is known as one of Britain’s pre-eminent actresses.

• She was awarded the 1984 London Evening Standard Theatre Award for Best Actress for her performance in The Way of the World.
• She was awarded the 1981 London Evening Standard Theatre Award for Best Actress for her performance in Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf?
• She was awarded the 1994 London Evening Standard Theatre Award for Best Actress for her performance in Three Tall Women.
• Portrayed by Ian McKellen on Saturday Night Live (1975).

In 2003, she became the seventeenth performer to win the Triple Crown of acting.
Oscars: Best Actress, The Prime of Miss Jean Brodie (1969) & Best Supporting Actress, California Suite (1978),
Tony: Best Actress – Play, Lettuce and Lovage (1990), and
Emmy: Best Actress – Miniseries/Movie, My House in Umbria (2003)

perhaps the world's best respected Essex Girl

Nicole Kidman

evil hook-nosed witch



Here we are, Parishioners,

OFFICIALLY (I declare so) Off The Wagon,

Dr C & Seth sittan up against the fence in The Green Strip

weeds in The Green Strip

with an esky fulla icewater & Coops;

one in hand & one already down,

awaiting MOONRISE!  Cheers!

Today is the Autumn Equinox

and the closest approach of the full moon in twenty years –


saguaro Moon

There be one Huge Gum Tree blockan the horizon –

I SO hope due East isn’t there –

nonetheless, a handy compass bearing if so…

Brought Trusty Iridium Choppers™ to block glare

& render Moon even redder –

as long as it’s not behind HGT –

& periodically remove ‘em to scan the horizon:

hills – check

hills in background – check

robots in foreground – check

robots on horizon – check


Wander over to check behind HGT – it obscures (right to left)

a bushy clump of three trees,

three robots in the foreground, poking up into the sky, and

two tiny robots in front of

three smaller bushy trees.

robots in the sunset

Return to fence with Dr C

remove Choppers™ momentarily – no Moon…

Rise to check Sun: yep, settan over there –

a beautiful orange orb from behind the Choppers™ –

about to start hidan behind The Jannan Tree

(known as The Jannan Tree cuz every time I pass

there be new empty stubbies beneath it.

Never seen anyone beneath The Jannan Tree –

could this be a Leprechaun thang?)


NOW, what I thought was a Cloud

IS THE MOON! (I think…)

NO – wait – still might be a Cloud –

there’s Clouds on that thar horizon, Mister…

There arre indeed, which renders this more inneraestan/challengan!

Choppers™ off – there be some Serious Scannan to be done!

(& Coops to be changed)

robots rock the sunset


Just as I look up from the changan –

it’s already as high as the streetlight

but I missed Moonrise due to Cloud Cover

(note to stealthies, sneaker-uppers & flying Ninja –

Cloud cover may be useful…)

It’s BIG & WHITE & I think I can see the rabbit

(but it may still be Cloud Cover)

Choppers™ down – no enhancement – worse, in fact.

Sun check: hidan behing The Jannan Tree –

orange, pink, effusive Cloudglow sky –

but not down yet.

Abandon Choppers™ – MOON now higher than streetlight

(startan to glow for warmup)

rabbit clearly visible!

the rabbit in The Moon

Smiles all round:

Happy Sun

Happy Moon

Happy Seth


While cleanan The Secretary’s gutter this afternoon

I considered going back up on the roof for The Event

but co-opted Dr C & came down here to The Green Strip instead.

Moon is startan to turn yellow

but some bastard pointy blue Cloud is cuttan in front!


HA! makes joke: observes prevailing winds (Easterly),

sez to Seth “Moon shall rise above this!”

Seth make joke! Throws arm ’round Dr C & chortles!

Moon hidden by Cloud, Moon peeks over Cloud,


take that, Cloud!

Sun check: still very light but no Sun.

Streetlight opposite The Jannan Tree on full power –

there’s another way we can save Earth!

HA! wuz just about to insert “Home of Dandelions (weeds) & Magpies”

into text, before first mention of The Green Strip,

when two magpies show up!

This is their place;

every time I walk on by

there are two, maybe four,

guardan The Green Strip.

magpie guardians

Sky now blue, Moon gettan higher – but no more yellowy

Magpies know it’s sunset cuz they start singan

The magpies own The Green Strip, the streetlights, the HGT,

the fence next to it

and the road – when they feel like it…

Finish off the Coops, say goodbye Moon (seeya later tonite)

& stroll off back to The Castle

to watch Iron Chef & Rockwiz


Happy Autumn Equinox, Parishioners!

I am The Moon

Kristy Hinze


I must admit, Parishioners,

that I had never heard of Sister Kristy

but she graces the cover of the cover of the launch issue of SHAPE magazine

I am fascinated!

don't let your feelings make you fat

In preparation for a major fashion shoot

the room is abuzz!

Somehow, Kristy maintains a presence.

Ani DiFranco (who has obviously been to Bali & succumbed) sez

everyone harbours a secret hatred
for the prettiest girl in the room

but Kristy’s completely down-to-earth personality and calm aura

allow no room for ill feeling.

Kristy cheesecake

The woven leather “Kristy” handbag sold out nationwide in just days

Kristy has “always found that there was a bit of a hole in the market for good-looking golf wear”

She is married to James H. Clark who is, among other thangs, founder of Silicon Graphics and Netscape and co-producer of the movie The Cove (Kristy studies marine biology and is a vociferous advocate of all issues related to marine life and safety. Kristy takes exception to Japanese whaling and appeared to call for the whalers to be put to death, stating “I think we should do to the whalers what they’re doing to the whales“)

Clark is 36 years Hinze’s senior.

Kristy and Jim wedding

Kristy confesses to getting bored in the gym

Kristy takes each day and squeezes every last drop from it

Clark has been married four times and has two children. In 2000, his daughter Kathy married Chad Hurley, co-founder of YouTube. The divorce from his third wife, Nancy Rutter, is reported to have cost him $125 million in cash and assets in the settlement. Soon afterwards he began dating Australian model Kristy Hinze, who became his fourth wife when they married in the British Virgin Islands on March 22, 2009.

the funky Chris Hinze and his Bamboo Magic

Kristy finds that being married brings security

Kristy sticks to the basics; cleanses, tones and moisturises

Every morning, Kristy gets up, goes for a walk and has a cup of coffee

Kristy and her donkey

She is the granddaughter of that odious toad Russ Hinze

whose only Saving Grace is that in 1971, whilst still on the back bench, he was part of a plot within the Country Party parliamentary wing to topple the utterly corrupt and ultimately Evil Joh Bjelke-Petersen that failed only through the votes of Bjelke-Petersen himself and two proxies (we shall hunt you down and publicly shame and humiliate you – COWARDS!)

Nonetheless, in February 1988, Hinze resigned from State Parliament due to being mentioned in the Fitzgerald Inquiry conducted into the corruption scandal of the Bjelke-Petersen era of politics.

Russ Hinze

I saw him on television describing why he would rather be a bulldog than a mouse,

but he was shown as a bulldog with dark glasses and a white cane

outside a casino and brothel in the Valley that had a flashing neon light,

saying he did not know there were any there.

Mr Russell Hinze posing with Kris O'Neil, Jennifer Olsen, Brenda Spence and Patricia Hughes

The woven leather “Kristy” handbag sold out nationwide in just days

Kristy has “always found that there was a bit of a hole in the market for good-looking golf wear”

Kristy finds that being married brings security

Kristy and Jim having a wedding

Kristy is needed back on the set of the fashion shoot

where her face becomes a busy canvas for the makeup artist’s brushes

Kristy and her grass