Distrustful Sons of Former Slaves



I have two sheeps in the back yard –
the variety (and spread!) of their shits

I also have shares in a rat – Fudgepacker
and a bunny – Moppy

two cats – Franklin & Keanu

& a dog –Monty,


two boys
& my gurl.

I like The Gurl the most

OH, fuck me; I love her very VERY MUCH!

The Gurl - sick of this every evening...

The sheeps like apples.

[Oh, I just misread this – there is an option in MSWord for “Quickpants!“]
{wouldn’t Johnny Depp & Christina Ricci have The Most Freak Offspring???
fuck it – he was at his peak in Ferris anyway…}

I have put on The Fauves to protect me –
When The Tour Went Pro
and the one about the gun
and livan in a Brotherhood bin –
not in that order

I sang the one about the gun all day yesterday –
must really learn the words…

I have been up since about four o’clock –
is that right, baby?

agape, agape; that's Latin, Tish...

I had a whole standup routine based on that fucker – oh – and Hilly Clint –
(and lightbulbs – ’twas the 80’s…)
wrote it on the plane home
then the train –
thought I’d be famous…

but the more & more movies I see {I finally saw The Matrix the other night! – shit movie}
but the more & more movies I see – worserer acting – ‘cept that gurl – fuck me – can I say she reminds me of sone? you know who… [SPOILER ALERT!] she kissed him and saved The Whirl! Wish Seth could do that… the more & more movies I see…

I dunno… can I still mock him?
when hez gwan do it hisseff?

Did anyone see that boat movie?

answer is yauwzxm!

Since you & I
had each other to rely on

bin doan it on m’own…

MY Claire - Hands off!

now, he’s tellan me
that Wendy is in love with him

and she’s gone

fuck me [shouty mark] – is that correct?

waal; NO!

* * *

We stop & sit on the curb
Seth is feelan it – THESE ARE THE *HILLS,* CLOONEY!!!
{yuazm; we gotsem hills, Perineum! Cellphone coverage next month ; fucker!}

Keanu; son of Clooney

He starts chattan ’bout his film – he has to be an English…
“Can only lead to Heaven,” I tell.
“You never fuck me ’round, Rev,” he says
& I just grab him
& squeeze his funny-shaped ‘eed.
“You are fucking funny” I say
& pull him to my chest
“Seth” – running my fingers through his stoopid lanky limp hair –
“you are a dumb bastard”

“Where’s Karen?” he asks

“Karen is pissan ’round in Torino – nothan on the books –
just pissan ’round,” I tell; probly in too loud a voice

She went over on, ostensibly, a magazine shoot
BUT with half a sniff of a series of articles for Vogue –
How Torino Got In Me – lifestyle stuff…

I can’t tell him – he wouldn’t take it correctly…

He’ll find out in six months or so
when it won’t matter so much

Seth, you fucking idiot;
you are a fucking idiot.
I fucking love you –
you fucking idiot

He loves her, Ray –
you know how that works

there was a show, she didn’t get a shot
but she went to Torino anyway

WHY? Why always these fucking thangs...?

Hey, just listen to this: First Day On The Run
NO- listen to this! Celebrate The Failure!

and ain’t this fuck you, get fucked!?

I was goan for my blue belt/
on the day that she left me

– what kinda Genius wrote that?

OH! there is a song entitled “Get Fucked!


Must catch up with these guys!
[shall report back]

* * *

Ethel Geraldine Rockefeller Dodge

was the youngest child
and only daughter
(Robert was sorta off in his own Whirl – but in a totally self-assured way –
no-one worried about him – he had it together)
of Almira Geraldine Goodsell Rockefeller
and William Avery Rockefeller, Jr.

Don't you love my dress?

She was fun
we made sandcastles with no sand
we built a cubby
we made icecream
{they made Desperately Seeking Susan ’bout her, you know}

Ally helped –
Ally was great
and Bill treated me like a grownup –
taught me how to bang a nail
let me use his drill
left me alone to wash & wax the Safari

Teh Mighty Valiant Safari!

Trust is very important, Big Bill;

Trust is very important.

Trust is very very important.

It enables one

to go higher, faster, better, stronger, more –
a shade more purpleyer

it MAKES you go higher, faster, better, stronger, more![ and purpleyer!]


and take Pride
and fucking joi! in your work –

without these,

you got nuthan…

Find Dodge Dealers in Geraldine, Montana

is that a challenge?

I wanted to get the Hanna Montana t-shirt
{that’s not her real name, you know…}
but wasn’t allowed…
mean gurl!
(oh, but fuck it – I love her too much to be angry for long…)
[will they still have them when my bday comes ’round???]

hangan out with Zappa’s kid

I need a gun – even a plastic one –
no, I want a plastic one

fallan in with the rhythm section of motley crue
twenty five American dollars
callan in on olivia newton john
she gave me a job
sellan cougars
& koala bears

bin doan it on m’own

I rarely pause during my day
to give thought to those Dodge/Rockerfeller oil barons

kiss you on the doorstep ?

where, on a gurl, would you find a doorstep?

{Is that a metaphor or something? I am A Simple Man…}

You are a fucking liar, Mr Albert I Woas Jr! Mrs Lee Franklin is WASTED upon you!

Matt fucking Dillon – Jesu he is GREAT!!!!
isnt he fucking GREAT!!!????!!!

I shoulda done a trade…

free power tools
beer at 3:30…

oh, NO! I shoulda bin an actor – Mickey Rourke, Kirk Douglas, Matt fucking Dillon!
oh, that other guy – Nick Nolte – AND Jeff Bridges (who is just Nick Nolte anyway)


I should also be a rockstar – MUST ring these guys!!!

now these guys are teachan Pavement what to do –

did Seth tell he loves The Fauves?

listen to this: (it’s the one about the gun again)

and I will never, ever lie…

Besides Matisse and Derain, other artists included Albert Marquet (never heard of him), Charles Camoin, Louis Valtat (never heard of him), the Belgian painter Henri Evenepoel, Jean Puy, Maurice de Vlaminck (never heard of him), Alfred Maurer, Henri Manguin, Raoul Dufy (love that guy – met his daughter – she rocks!), Othon Friesz (what kinda name is that?), Georges Rouault, the Dutch painter Kees van Dongen, the Swiss painter Alice Bailly (where en Suisse? How would you pronounce her name? Does she hafta change evertime she switches cantons?) and Georges Braque .

matisse - open window - need we say more?

oh – the gun song again!

(disclosure: I {we; actually – I made her m’ accomplice, ‘Tish!} just stole an ikeakaeakeanuauau – WHY do these horrid fucking frightful coincidences plague me ? – table [and a chef!]
then had to borrow one of them funny hex keys…)

I shoulda done a trade…

free power tools
beer at 3:30
AND some of them funny hex keys…

oh yea! TV star!

did Seth tell he loves The Fauves?

The Gurl - sick of this every evening...

I left my leathers inthe halllway

put the CD on

and changed her Whirl

My New Favourite Site


THIS, Parishioners,

I got a bad feeling about this...


I can haz bananaz


no gorillas harmed in the shooting of this photograph


Bud Light and Clamato -what kinda Mary is that?

Site: The Japing Ape

The Japing Ape - Mr Gorilla Bananas

THANK YOU, Perineum!

The Sacred Spot



one o’ my Dear Friends has succumbed
and created a blog –

I give unto you Perineum!

An excerpt:

Oh shit, the Dutch started it. That dickhead Vlamingh, mustering all the seagoing knowledge possessed in Europe at the time, managed to land off the Western Australian coast at 32º South imagining himself to be in Java. His men, sent to look for water on an offshore island came back and reported the place was dry and worse, it was populated by hundreds of bloody huge rats. Vlamingh retired to his cabin to drink schnaaps and doodle in the captain’s log, emerging four hours later with a wild look in his eye and declaring he had thought of a name for the island. “Rottsnest (sic),” he declared with slurred triumph. His men looked at him with the usual disrespect but thinking, almost to a man, what a genius was their captain.

signpost to The Sacred Spot

I look forward to many many moments of joi!