Fuck You, Elkanah fucking Settle!

29/5/9

“A flash in the pan”
Common definition: Something showy that initially impresses but doesn’t bring any real results. (e.g. “The singer’s career as Elvis’s long lost brother was just a flash in the pan.”)

First use: The term has been known since the late 17th century. Elkanah Settle, arse-licker of the Earl of Nowich, in Reflections on several of Mr. Dryden’s plays, 1687, had this to say: “If Cannons were so well bred in his Metaphor as only to flash in the Pan, I dare lay an even wager that Mr. Dryden durst venture to Sea.”

Dorset Gardens - the Home of True Poesy

WAAL; FUCK YOU, SETTLE ! (if that is your real name, arselicker; you fucking coward!) –
you didn’t even write Notes and Observations on the Empress of Morocco” –
(probably that pitiful treacherous plagiarist clod Shadwell )
– you never even met her!
Maya told me you asked for an audience
but she told her secretary to tell you to fuck off –
you fucking lying shit!

May Mr Johnny Cash
dip your hand in warm water
for the rest of your few remaining days!

Jack & me
went to sea (or – as you so pretentiously spell it – “Sea”)
(in a beautiful pea-green boat; fuck you!)
two guys, out on The Waters
many a time!
BEER & FISH make a writer; fuck you!
(oh, bad luck; Hemingway…)
[fuck you – Fitz NEVER even left The Shore –
but look at the joi he brought to you miserable critics!
An Inspiration to SO many many terribly much worserer writers!]
{oh, fuck; why wasn’t he wearing the scarf..?}

Able Seaman Jack Dryden

Jack Dryden was an excellent Navigateur
and good all round on deck –
no loose ties,
nothan rattlan round ,
good with a knife,
a fine hand;
excellent company.

* * *

AND you can get fucked AGAIN, SETTLE! (if that is your real name, arselicker; you fucking arselicking coward!)
DO NOT invent stories about My King!

There was no “long lost brother”
’twas a Myth created by me, Mr Tom Waits, Br Leonard Cohen & Jenny from The Jennys
after a couple o’ tequilas & such.

There is, however, a story
about The Brother Who Lived
(which cannot be supported in fact
but endures to this day)
& is ridiculously conflated
with the History of Mr Johnny Cash

The King and Johnny Cash

but, really, can’t we just put this all behind us?

DAMMIT! – why does cactus have this effect on normally decent humans?

Jack & Alex were right – you are Dulness’ bitch!
(but I must admit that you have succeeded in infecting the entire UK (with the possible exception of Wales – ta, Dylan) with decay, imbecility, tastelessness and an inability to deal with either the spoken or written languages –oh; and, perhaps, The Entire World!)
However, I hear you ended up playing a dragon
in a hand-made green leather suit in a fucking market!

Oh, World Domination!

I thank the Brothers of the Charterhouse

for spoon-feeding you gruel
and wiping your worthless arse
until you so graciously died.

Get fucked, SETTLE, you arselicking, plagiarising coward!
The Spectre of Spartacus shall be ON YOUR ARSE immediately!
NO RESPITE in Hell either – DO NOT SLEEP!!!

Spartacus!

May Jesu take pity ‘pon your soul.

Barfly

18/10/8

While checking out grumpy Ringo, Parishioners, I recently ran across this:

Mickey Rourke has always been Our Favourite Barfly

Hank and Wanda

Anybody can be a non-drunk. It takes a special talent to be a drunk. It takes endurance. Endurance is more important than truth.

to all my FRIEEENNNNDDDDSSSS!

Philip Andre “Mickey” Rourke, Jr. (born September 16, 1952 in Schenectady, New York) is an American actor, who has appeared primarily in action, drama and thriller films. Trained as a boxer in his early years, Rourke had a short stint as a pro fighter in the 1990s.

Rourke’s acting career eventually became overshadowed by his personal life and seemingly eccentric career decisions. Directors such as Alan Parker found it difficult to work with him. Parker stated that “working with Mickey is a nightmare. He is very dangerous on the set because you never know what he is going to do”. He is alleged to have turned down a number of high-profile acting roles, including Eliot Ness in The Untouchables, Axel Foley in Beverly Hills Cop, Jack Crawford in The Silence of the Lambs, Tom Cruise’s role in Rain Man, Nick Nolte’s part in 48 Hrs., Christopher Lambert’s part in Highlander and a part in Platoon. In a documentary on the special edition DVD of Tombstone, actor Michael Biehn, who plays the part of Johnny Ringo, mentions that his role was first offered to Rourke.  In the early 1990s, Quentin Tarantino offered Rourke the part of Butch Coolidge in Pulp Fiction. Rourke declined.

Despite having withdrawn from acting at various points, and having made movies that he now sees as a creative “sell-out” (the action film Harley Davidson and the Marlboro Man), Rourke has stated that “…all that I have been through…[has] made me a better, more interesting actor.” Rourke’s renewed interest in pursuing acting can be seen in his statement that “…my best work is still ahead of me“.

In November 2006, during an interview, he called Tom Cruise “a cunt” for his attacks on Brooke Shields and psychiatry.

In February 2007 he was in South Beach, Florida, protesting against a puppy store he claims sells dogs with parvo. (spread, Parishioners, by contact with an infected dog’s faeces. Symptoms include lethargy, severe diarrhea, fever, vomiting, loss of appetite, and dehydration)

Dr. Who?
By 2002, Mickey Rourke had begun to look like a surgically revised version of his old self. Rumors spread of face-lifts and drug and alcohol use.

The Joker!

Wanda: I hate people…do you hate them?
Henry: No…but I seem to feel better when they’re not around

Mane event
Who did your hair, Edward Scissorhands? In 2003, a dark, wild-haired Mickey Rourke looked a lot like director Tim Burton.

Let's switch places & do Helena!

Old Fart: Now look. Twenty bucks for that kind of head is outrageous.
Grandma Moses: I did ya good, old fart. I did ya good. I oughta bit your champagne cork off.
Old Fart: I’m givin’ ya fifteen bucks.
Grandma Moses: Twenty bucks. Nobody in this neighborhood can swallow paste like I can.

Bang up job
In the mid-1990s, at Johnny Depp’s New York birthday party, Depp was dating Kate Moss and Mickey Rourke was trying to get back with his estranged girlfriend, Carre Otis. Both volatile relationships were destined not to last. Thankfully, neither did Rourke’s piece-y fringe bangs.

looks like an Oz cricketer…

He will also appear alongside Ray Liotta in John McNaughton’s The Night Job.

Here’s another guy who’s not lookan so good…