Here we are, Parishioners,

OFFICIALLY (I declare so) Off The Wagon,

Dr C & Seth sittan up against the fence in The Green Strip

weeds in The Green Strip

with an esky fulla icewater & Coops;

one in hand & one already down,

awaiting MOONRISE!  Cheers!

Today is the Autumn Equinox

and the closest approach of the full moon in twenty years –


saguaro Moon

There be one Huge Gum Tree blockan the horizon –

I SO hope due East isn’t there –

nonetheless, a handy compass bearing if so…

Brought Trusty Iridium Choppers™ to block glare

& render Moon even redder –

as long as it’s not behind HGT –

& periodically remove ‘em to scan the horizon:

hills – check

hills in background – check

robots in foreground – check

robots on horizon – check


Wander over to check behind HGT – it obscures (right to left)

a bushy clump of three trees,

three robots in the foreground, poking up into the sky, and

two tiny robots in front of

three smaller bushy trees.

robots in the sunset

Return to fence with Dr C

remove Choppers™ momentarily – no Moon…

Rise to check Sun: yep, settan over there –

a beautiful orange orb from behind the Choppers™ –

about to start hidan behind The Jannan Tree

(known as The Jannan Tree cuz every time I pass

there be new empty stubbies beneath it.

Never seen anyone beneath The Jannan Tree –

could this be a Leprechaun thang?)


NOW, what I thought was a Cloud

IS THE MOON! (I think…)

NO – wait – still might be a Cloud –

there’s Clouds on that thar horizon, Mister…

There arre indeed, which renders this more inneraestan/challengan!

Choppers™ off – there be some Serious Scannan to be done!

(& Coops to be changed)

robots rock the sunset


Just as I look up from the changan –

it’s already as high as the streetlight

but I missed Moonrise due to Cloud Cover

(note to stealthies, sneaker-uppers & flying Ninja –

Cloud cover may be useful…)

It’s BIG & WHITE & I think I can see the rabbit

(but it may still be Cloud Cover)

Choppers™ down – no enhancement – worse, in fact.

Sun check: hidan behing The Jannan Tree –

orange, pink, effusive Cloudglow sky –

but not down yet.

Abandon Choppers™ – MOON now higher than streetlight

(startan to glow for warmup)

rabbit clearly visible!

the rabbit in The Moon

Smiles all round:

Happy Sun

Happy Moon

Happy Seth


While cleanan The Secretary’s gutter this afternoon

I considered going back up on the roof for The Event

but co-opted Dr C & came down here to The Green Strip instead.

Moon is startan to turn yellow

but some bastard pointy blue Cloud is cuttan in front!


HA! makes joke: observes prevailing winds (Easterly),

sez to Seth “Moon shall rise above this!”

Seth make joke! Throws arm ’round Dr C & chortles!

Moon hidden by Cloud, Moon peeks over Cloud,


take that, Cloud!

Sun check: still very light but no Sun.

Streetlight opposite The Jannan Tree on full power –

there’s another way we can save Earth!

HA! wuz just about to insert “Home of Dandelions (weeds) & Magpies”

into text, before first mention of The Green Strip,

when two magpies show up!

This is their place;

every time I walk on by

there are two, maybe four,

guardan The Green Strip.

magpie guardians

Sky now blue, Moon gettan higher – but no more yellowy

Magpies know it’s sunset cuz they start singan

The magpies own The Green Strip, the streetlights, the HGT,

the fence next to it

and the road – when they feel like it…

Finish off the Coops, say goodbye Moon (seeya later tonite)

& stroll off back to The Castle

to watch Iron Chef & Rockwiz


Happy Autumn Equinox, Parishioners!

I am The Moon



Recently went to Bali, Parishioners, with The Secretary.

What a shithole.

in case of tsunami

in case of tsunami

Constantly harassed by arseholes

with offers of massage? manicure? Bintang shirt? do your hair? transport? bike? taxi?

come look my shop? occasionally Viagra? and one time, in spite of the fact that I was accompanied by The Secretary, ladies?

Markets are Hell on Earth – rows of stalls selling exactly the same stuff,

all offering different prices – one is meant to haggle, apparently.

This may be fun for some – I watched this bitchy woman haggle for fifteen minutes over

10 000 rupiah – a whole dollar!

However, ’tis nothing but a pain in the arse –

if I want something, I shall pay a reasonable price for it.

Indeed, those shops which received our custom were those which were decidedly not pushy.

That’ll learn ’em!

Hard Rock Ho

Our resort, however, was delightful!

A rambling, luscious, verdant semi-traditional extravagance –

two pools (plus one for rich people) – the main pool having two bars –

one on the water the other requiring one to walk three feet…

Japanese & Italian restaurants, plus an all-day bar/café & evening buffet

(replete with Electone™), gym, spa, meditation sessions

rambling, luscious and verdant

The included breakfast was an enormous spread lasting from 06:30 ’til 10:30:

cereal, fruit, pastries, miso and sushi for the multitude of Japanese guests (which failed to materialise), salad, hot dishes including both Whitey and Balinese food,

an “Egg Corner” where one could order any amount of eggs prepared in any desired fashion,

a variety of juices and an endless supply of tea & coffee.

Did I miss anything?

Our modus operandi was to enjoy a leisurely breakfast

then adjourn to the patio to relax over fruit, coffee & crossword

with an occasional dip into the pool.


extended breakfast

THEN a stroll along the beach into town for the inevitable shopping expedition…

Constant harassment, continuously beeping taxis & scooters (no cars in the town – avoid at all cost!), choking, eye-watering exhaust fumes, crowded, narrow, potholed footpaths (where they existed), HUGE unnavigable puddles lakes when it rained bucketed down every evening; in short – THIRD WORLD HELL!

But then – HEAVEN! We discovered a bar (Swell) that showed (pirated, no doubt) movies & served ice-cold (truly – I got a frozen bottle!) beer, another (La Walon) with The Best Staff (hi guys!), the cheapest beer and a phenomenal hotel-size menu, a restaurant (Blue Planet) with The Coolest Three-Piece Cover Band Of The Whirl (hi guys!) and a pretty authentic isakaya (Ryoshi).

Stroll back along the beach, flop into bed, repeat.

La Walon - you're safe here

More to tell

but this post is long enough.

All in all – A Wunnerful Holiday!

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