23-11-10
Me & Olleter! on stage
never done this piece before
I wuz thinkan – B3, broken (not ruined) piano; accordion even?
we agreed upon bandoneón
“Ladies and Gentlemen”
I announce
“I give you *The Genius*
that is – Olleter!”
I whispered “start in D minor”
(*The* Saddest Chord O Teh Universe)
& sneaked off to the bar
while he ran the intro:
“Three shots o Cointreau
& a HUGE glass o water please”
& returned to the stage:
“This is a sad sad song – I need some help;
I need a volunteer…
I want a girl
with Long Black Hair
and a Red Red Dress;
– but I’ll settle for a little less…
I want you to be my mic stand:
press your sexy arse up against me –
I will wrap my arms around you
& squeeze
when I need to
and promise
to try
SO HARD
never to touch your breasts…”
A beautiful young lady obliges
When she is correctly positioned,
with the mic over her shoulder
and her soft little arse pushing back into me
I distribute the Cointreau –
“don’t drink it yet”
I turn to Maestro Ollatero
and ask him to begin:
“This is the story o Melanie”
I breathe
over the shoulder
of my microphone girl
I tell the story,
she closes her eyes
smiles sexy at the audience
and writhes…
I keep my arm *tight* around her waist –
I can NOT let her go
but when she presses back into me
I relax my grip…
Drink the Cointreau…
she listens to the story –
and pushes back harder
Drink the Cointreau, baby
I give her mine
Melanie’s Story ends,
my mic stand is limp in my arms –
my arm around her waist again,
holding her up
I escort her back to her seat
kiss her on the cheek –
“thank you, baby”
I don’t need to whisper
.and return to the stage:
The Genius that is Olleter!
finishes in a major key
but everyone is crying
even the bargirl….
I bow my head –
“thank you,
thank you very much…
I extend my arms:
”Olletter!
and my gracious assistant;
Melanie…”
no-one can applaud –
silence
tears
we did it
SALVATION! 