Long Black Hair & a Red Red Dress

23-11-10

Me & Olleter! on stage

never done this piece before

I wuz thinkan – B3, broken (not ruined) piano; accordion even?

we agreed upon bandoneón

“Ladies and Gentlemen”

I announce

“I give you *The Genius*

that is – Olleter!”

I whispered “start in D minor”
(*The* Saddest Chord O Teh Universe)

& sneaked off to the bar
while he ran the intro:

“Three shots o Cointreau
& a HUGE glass o water please”

& returned to the stage:

“This is a sad sad song – I need some help;
I need a volunteer…

I want a girl
with Long Black Hair
and a Red Red Dress;

– but I’ll settle for a little less…

I want you to be my mic stand:
press your sexy arse up against me –

I will wrap my arms around you
& squeeze
when I need to

and promise

to try

SO HARD

never to touch your breasts…”

A beautiful young lady obliges

When she is correctly positioned,
with the mic over her shoulder
and her soft little arse pushing back into me

I distribute the Cointreau –
“don’t drink it yet”

I turn to Maestro Ollatero

and ask him to begin:

“This is the story o Melanie”

I breathe

over the shoulder

of my microphone girl

I tell the story,

she closes her eyes

smiles sexy at the audience
and writhes…

I keep my arm *tight* around her waist –
I can NOT let her go

but when she presses back into me
I relax my grip…

Drink the Cointreau…

she listens to the story –
and pushes back harder

Drink the Cointreau, baby

I give her mine

Melanie’s Story ends,
my mic stand is limp in my arms –
my arm around her waist again,
holding her up

I escort her back to her seat
kiss her on the cheek –
“thank you, baby”
I don’t need to whisper

.

and return to the stage:
The Genius that is Olleter!
finishes in a major key

but everyone is crying
even the bargirl….

I bow my head –
“thank you,
thank you very much…

I extend my arms:
”Olletter!

and my gracious assistant;

Melanie…”

no-one can applaud –

silence

tears

we did it

melts