Weeds

1/2/10

Doctor C & I wend (ha! Wendy!) thru The Parish,

choosan flowers

A Gentleman cuts a Fine Figure in a frockcoat
especially on a grey Melbourne morn

NOONE dare fuck with A Gentleman in a Frockcoat!

I SO enjoi my time with The Doctor

she said a pinch & a punch for the first of the month

white rabbits white rabbits white rabbits

and then y hafta turn yr wedding ring around

I twirled her earrings
licked the silver
stuck my filthy tongue in her ear
kissed her brow
and snuggled into her neck

I love her

Doctor C & I turn our Great Minds
to more concernan matters:

how was silk ever discovered?

why can’t we have clouds in the house?
(next million dollars!)

why can’t we have weather in the house?
(next bourgognillion dollars!)

What can we do about these weeds?

Dollars jus’ waitan…

white rabbits white rabbits white rabbits she says

and you hafta turn your wedding ring around

I miss her already

What are we to do about these weeds?

running wildly into the wind
chasing down the dandelions
before they turn into weeds

I think your weeds are charming.

Lindt & Sprüngli

8/11/9

I would pass him the phone and would wonder, silently,

to whom he might be speaking

and what the Devil they were discussing.

In the tavern I would approach them and join the conversation

with some witty, ironic remark about their flirting.

I would remain silent for a while

but could never mention it again

because I wouldn’t want him to know that it bothered me.

I would refuse to read bulletins mentioning him.

I would avoid conversations in which his name arose.

I began to be wary of men whom, in the slightest instance, resembled him.

This obsession had to stop – I would end up insulting or murdering him.

 

 

The conche was invented by my partner, Rodolphe Lindt, in 1879.

It is important, apparently, to use only the highest quality metals such as 316L Surgical Stainless Steel, 18ct Solid Gold or Titanium.

We did not have such materials.

And thus I met Rodolphe…

Chocolade is not the same thing as Love.

Sometimes, folk think that by giving Chocolade to someone, they are loving them.

Chocolade is not Love – it embodies the fear and anger of losing Love.

Chocolade disappears when one truly loves oneself – and others -

in whatever one experiences.

Irrational gifts of Chocolade usually stem from one’s insecurities and low self-esteem.

Do you dream in Chocolade ?

In 1899, the Lindt brand name, the manufacturing process, and the obligation to maintain supreme quality, became the company: Lindt & Sprüngli AG. The preoccupation with quality has been emphasized by the fact that there has been a master confectioner in each of …In 1899, the Lindt brand name, the Lindt manufacturing process, and the Lindt obligation to maintain supreme Lindt quality became the company Lindt & Sprüngli AG.

Lindt’s preoccupation with quality has been emphasized by the fact that there has been a Lindt in each of the five generations of the Lindt company;

an expert whom, by professional Lindt training,

knows the Lindt product inside and out.

Lindt quality is the basis for – and the key to Lindt & Sprüngli’s success.

Have you ever encountered someone who is fiercely independent,

adores anything out of the ordinary,

and yearn for their attention?

What do you desire from that relationship?

Commitment? Respect? Honesty? Affection? Companionship? Passion? Security? Stability? Loyalty?

I studied his tendencies, his quirks;

I attempted to fathom his deepest desires –

his unusual sexual practices,

his prodigious intake of narcotics,

his predilection for riding a motor-cycle in inclement weather…

and his Worst Fears – always be accepting and open-minded; for

Knowledge is Power!

Do you conspire in Chocolade ?

I drink it when I’m happy and when I’m sad. Sometimes, I drink it when I’m alone. When I have company I consider it obligatory. I trifle with it if I’m not hungry and drink it if I am; Otherwise I never touch it – unless I’m thirsty.

Mme Bollinger on Champagne

I harbour the same feelings for Chocolade.

Lindt never did.

I see that now – altogether too late!

Lindt & Sprüngli advise that due to personal reasons and changes to their lifestyle
the decision has been made to discontinue the Happy Campers™ line.

Briskeby!

29/10/10

OH PARISHIONERS!

It has been Some Time

Since I’ve felt like this!

Briskeby!

WOW!

Trawlan thru Wikipedia Contrails™ of Alex, Big Star, The Posies, Ken Stringfellow etc,

I stumble across

Briskeby!

WOW!

I have not, Parishioners, been so STRUCK with music
Since I discovered The Fauves some months ago!

They remind me of Dadafon - another Norvergian band

Dadafon performs songs in Norvergian and English. Dadafon and Kristin Asbjønsen, perform most of the songs of Factotum sound track, like slow day.

and Hal from Apollo 69!
(YouTube)

Ocean Drive reminds me of Malibu

And, of course,

I shed tears of joi…

BRILLIANT power pop, Parishioners!

I love ya this time around…

Want Not for Cake

29/9/9

A Man o These Times, Parishioners,
wants not for cake.

nor Powderfinger’s new album,
nor non-animal rennet.

THESE ARE HARDER TIMES!

Bookamarks!
and Trombionés!

Fresh linen

fresh fleurs (‘Tish)
fresh fruits

a walk in the pines

the version performed by Lead Belly [sic] and covered by Nirvana does not differ substantially from other variants of the song

Br Tallis also runs a fine vershun.

This is a true story. Steve started playing music in 1962. Music is his calling.

the apricot/plum fleurs
which herald Spring, ‘Tish

the companionship of a Good Dawg

small beer
after a hard day’s workan

Mister Willie Nelson

Miss Nina Simone

(she pauses, shouts, repeats, whispers and moans)

Oh, and Honourable Mentions to Fuck You, Penguin!

like a Disney character that ends up torturing Bambi’s mother while Bambi watches!

I believed in the band – I wanted the band to live

but

huff & puff & all that stuff

they fell apart around me

I drove, I cleaned, I scored, I refereed, I did EVERYTHANG!

and Bambi watched…

In 1986, the Triffids were on the bill of the Australian Made tour. Australia Made was the largest touring festival of Australian music talent that had ever been attempted to that point. Jimmy Barnes and INXS headlined and the rest of the line-up featured Mental as Anything, Divynils, Models, The Saints, I’m Talking [how did they get in there?] and The Triffids.

Anabasii, couriers of antiquity!

Can a Rev marry himself to the love of his life?  Question asked no definite answer given.

yes, Hexie

yes

I Want the Angel

15/9/9

I confess, Parishioners…

I have, of late,

been listening to Warren Zevon.

Vale Jim Carroll

I have recently re-evaluted DiCapprio

Here is the joke

also, The Game…

Yes, I saw Basketball Diaries

Yes, I, too, would start a band

if Patti Smith told

A whore in love

with her own reflection

Ron has this album

so does Iggy

so does Lou

fuck – those goatwankers covered it!

- the rocksteady?

oh, yea, Keef stole Shattered from here!

Jim brags

he has Extreme Unction

admirable

I can deliver that

they wait in shadows

steal the light from your eyes

I’z takan the rest o’ the day

to listen to Catholic Boy

again & again

to revisit the late ‘70’s

& won’t stop

‘til I get to Blondie’s first album – definitive death o’ Punk

light relief, tho,

is Superstylin’!

(& Tame Impala’s first ep)

Tens of thousands of other people have also died.

Also Patrick Swayze

(no joke here)

[The Game]

Blessings,

Le Rev Dr

Hiroshima Day

6/8/9

Today, Parishioners,

is Hiroshima Day.

August 6th 1945

From Wikipedia:
After six months of intense fire-bombing of 67 other Japanese cities, followed by an ultimatum which was ignored by the Shōwa regime, the nuclear weapon “Little Boy” was dropped on the city of Hiroshima on Monday, August 6, 1945, followed on August 9 by the detonation of the “Fat Man” nuclear bomb over Nagasaki. These are to date the only attacks with nuclear weapons in the history of warfare.

The bombs killed as many as 140,000 people in Hiroshima and 80,000 in Nagasaki by the end of 1945, roughly half on the days of the bombings. Amongst these, 15–20% died from injuries or the combined effects of flash burns, trauma, and radiation burns, compounded by illness, malnutrition and radiation sickness. Since then, more have died from leukemia (231 observed) and solid cancers (334 observed) attributed to exposure to radiation released by the bombs. In both cities, the majority of the dead were civilians.

On May 10–11, 1945 The Target Committee at Los Alamos, led by J. Robert Oppenheimer, recommended Kyoto, Hiroshima, Yokohama, and the arsenal at Kokura as possible targets. The target selection was subject to the following criteria:
• The target was larger than three miles in diameter and was an important target in a large urban area.
• The blast would create effective damage.
• The target was unlikely to be attacked by August 1945. “Any small and strictly military objective should be located in a much larger area subject to blast damage in order to avoid undue risks of the weapon being lost due to bad placing of the bomb.”

These cities were largely untouched during the nightly bombing raids and the Army Air Force agreed to leave them off the target list so accurate assessment of the weapon could be made. Hiroshima was described as “an important army depot and port of embarkation in the middle of an urban industrial area. It is a good radar target and it is such a size that a large part of the city could be extensively damaged. There are adjacent hills which are likely to produce a focussing effect which would considerably increase the blast damage. Due to rivers it is not a good incendiary target.”

The radius of total destruction was about one mile (1.6 km), with resulting fires across 4.4 square miles (11 km2). Americans estimated that 4.7 square miles (12 km2) of the city were destroyed. Japanese officials determined that 69% of Hiroshima’s buildings were destroyed and another 6–7% damaged.
70,000 – 80,000 people, or some 30% of the population of Hiroshima were killed immediately, and another 70,000 injured.

I worked in the Hiroshima University Hospital for one year

These are tears

.

.

. . .

Blessings,

Le Rev Dr

Distrustful Sons of Former Slaves

1/7/9

Parishioners,

I have two sheeps in the back yard -
the variety (and spread!) of their shits
is AMAZING!!!

I also have shares in a rat – Fudgepacker
and a bunny – Moppy

two cats – Franklin & Keanu

& a dog -Monty,

fish,

two boys
& my gurl.

I like The Gurl the most

OH, fuck me; I love her very VERY MUCH!

The sheeps like apples.

[Oh, I just misread this – there is an option in MSWord for "Quickpants!"]
{wouldn’t Johnny Depp & Christina Ricci have The Most Freak Offspring???
fuck it – he was at his peak in Ferris anyway…}

I have put on The Fauves to protect me –
When The Tour Went Pro
and the one about the gun
and livan in a Brotherhood bin -
not in that order

I sang the one about the gun all day yesterday –
must really learn the words…

I have been up since about four o’clock -
is that right, baby?

I had a whole standup routine based on that fucker – oh – and Hilly Clint –
(and lightbulbs – ’twas the 80’s…)
wrote it on the plane home
then the train –
thought I’d be famous…

but the more & more movies I see {I finally saw The Matrix the other night! – shit movie}
but the more & more movies I see – worserer acting – ‘cept that gurl – fuck me – can I say she reminds me of sone? you know who… [SPOILER ALERT!] she kissed him and saved The Whirl! Wish Seth could do that… the more & more movies I see…

I dunno… can I still mock him?
when hez gwan do it hisseff?

Did anyone see that boat movie?

answer is yauwzxm!

Since you & I
had each other to rely on

bin doan it on m’own…

now, he’s tellan me
that Wendy is in love with him

and she’s gone

fuck me [shouty mark] – is that correct?

waal; NO!

* * *

We stop & sit on the curb
Seth is feelan it – THESE ARE THE *HILLS,* CLOONEY!!!
{yuazm; we gotsem hills, Perineum! Cellphone coverage next month ; fucker!}

He starts chattan ’bout his film – he has to be an English…
“Can only lead to Heaven,” I tell.
“You never fuck me ’round, Rev,” he says
& I just grab him
& squeeze his funny-shaped ‘eed.
“You are fucking funny” I say
& pull him to my chest
“Seth” – running my fingers through his stoopid lanky limp hair –
“you are a dumb bastard”

“Where’s Karen?” he asks

“Karen is pissan ’round in Torino – nothan on the books –
just pissan ’round,” I tell; probly in too loud a voice

She went over on, ostensibly, a magazine shoot
BUT with half a sniff of a series of articles for Vogue –
How Torino Got In Me – lifestyle stuff…

I can’t tell him – he wouldn’t take it correctly…

He’ll find out in six months or so
when it won’t matter so much

Seth, you fucking idiot;
you are a fucking idiot.
I fucking love you -
you fucking idiot

He loves her, Ray –
you know how that works

there was a show, she didn’t get a shot
but she went to Torino anyway

Hey, just listen to this: First Day On The Run
NO- listen to this! Celebrate The Failure!

and ain’t this fuck you, get fucked!?

I was goan for my blue belt/
on the day that she left me

– what kinda Genius wrote that?

OH! there is a song entitled “Get Fucked!“

YEA!!!

Must catch up with these guys!
[shall report back]

* * *

Ethel Geraldine Rockefeller Dodge

was the youngest child
and only daughter
(Robert was sorta off in his own Whirl – but in a totally self-assured way –
no-one worried about him – he had it together)
of Almira Geraldine Goodsell Rockefeller
and William Avery Rockefeller, Jr.

She was fun
we made sandcastles with no sand
we built a cubby
we made icecream
{they made Desperately Seeking Susan ’bout her, you know}

Ally helped -
Ally was great
and Bill treated me like a grownup -
taught me how to bang a nail
let me use his drill
left me alone to wash & wax the Safari

Trust is very important, Big Bill;

Trust is very important.

Trust is very very important.

It enables one

to go higher, faster, better, stronger, more –
a shade more purpleyer

it MAKES you go higher, faster, better, stronger, more![ and purpleyer!]

IT MAKES IT HAPPEN!!!!

and take Pride
and fucking joi! in your work –

without these,

you got nuthan…

Find Dodge Dealers in Geraldine, Montana

is that a challenge?

I wanted to get the Hanna Montana t-shirt
{that’s not her real name, you know…}
but wasn’t allowed…
mean gurl!
(oh, but fuck it – I love her too much to be angry for long…)
[will they still have them when my bday comes 'round???]

hangan out with Zappa’s kid

I need a gun – even a plastic one –
no, I want a plastic one

fallan in with the rhythm section of motley crue
twenty five American dollars
callan in on olivia newton john
she gave me a job
sellan cougars
& koala bears

bin doan it on m’own

I rarely pause during my day
to give thought to those Dodge/Rockerfeller oil barons

kiss you on the doorstep ?

where, on a gurl, would you find a doorstep?

{Is that a metaphor or something? I am A Simple Man…}

Matt fucking Dillon – Jesu he is GREAT!!!!
isnt he fucking GREAT!!!????!!!

I shoulda done a trade…

free power tools
beer at 3:30…

oh, NO! I shoulda bin an actor – Mickey Rourke, Kirk Douglas, Matt fucking Dillon!
oh, that other guy – Nick Nolte – AND Jeff Bridges (who is just Nick Nolte anyway)

BLUE BELT!!!!

I should also be a rockstar – MUST ring these guys!!!

now these guys are teachan Pavement what to do –

did Seth tell he loves The Fauves?

listen to this: (it’s the one about the gun again)

and I will never, ever lie…

Besides Matisse and Derain, other artists included Albert Marquet (never heard of him), Charles Camoin, Louis Valtat (never heard of him), the Belgian painter Henri Evenepoel, Jean Puy, Maurice de Vlaminck (never heard of him), Alfred Maurer, Henri Manguin, Raoul Dufy (love that guy – met his daughter – she rocks!), Othon Friesz (what kinda name is that?), Georges Rouault, the Dutch painter Kees van Dongen, the Swiss painter Alice Bailly (where en Suisse? How would you pronounce her name? Does she hafta change evertime she switches cantons?) and Georges Braque .

oh – the gun song again!

(disclosure: I {we; actually – I made her m’ accomplice, ‘Tish!} just stole an ikeakaeakeanuauau – WHY do these horrid fucking frightful coincidences plague me ? – table [and a chef!]
then had to borrow one of them funny hex keys…)

I shoulda done a trade…

free power tools
beer at 3:30
AND some of them funny hex keys…

oh yea! TV star!

did Seth tell he loves The Fauves?

I left my leathers inthe halllway

put the CD on

and changed her Whirl

Second Big Suit on The Moon

Parishioners,

just couldn’t resist

Blessings to our fearless cosmonauts!

Le Rev Dr

Fuck You, Elkanah fucking Settle!

29/5/9

“A flash in the pan”
Common definition: Something showy that initially impresses but doesn’t bring any real results. (e.g. “The singer’s career as Elvis’s long lost brother was just a flash in the pan.”)

First use: The term has been known since the late 17th century. Elkanah Settle, arse-licker of the Earl of Nowich, in Reflections on several of Mr. Dryden’s plays, 1687, had this to say: “If Cannons were so well bred in his Metaphor as only to flash in the Pan, I dare lay an even wager that Mr. Dryden durst venture to Sea.”

WAAL; FUCK YOU, SETTLE ! (if that is your real name, arselicker; you fucking coward!) –
you didn’t even write “Notes and Observations on the Empress of Morocco” –
(probably that pitiful treacherous plagiarist clod Shadwell )
- you never even met her!
Maya told me you asked for an audience
but she told her secretary to tell you to fuck off -
you fucking lying shit!

May Mr Johnny Cash
dip your hand in warm water
for the rest of your few remaining days!

Jack & me
went to sea (or – as you so pretentiously spell it – “Sea”)
(in a beautiful pea-green boat; fuck you!)
two guys, out on The Waters
many a time!
BEER & FISH make a writer; fuck you!
(oh, bad luck; Hemingway…)
[fuck you - Fitz NEVER even left The Shore -
but look at the joi he brought to you miserable critics!
An Inspiration to SO many many terribly much worserer writers!]
{oh, fuck; why wasn’t he wearing the scarf..?}

Jack Dryden was an excellent Navigateur
and good all round on deck -
no loose ties,
nothan rattlan round ,
good with a knife,
a fine hand;
excellent company.

* * *

AND you can get fucked AGAIN, SETTLE! (if that is your real name, arselicker; you fucking arselicking coward!)
DO NOT invent stories about My King!

There was no “long lost brother”
’twas a Myth created by me, Mr Tom Waits, Br Leonard Cohen & Jenny from The Jennys
after a couple o’ tequilas & such.

There is, however, a story
about The Brother Who Lived
(which cannot be supported in fact
but endures to this day)
& is ridiculously conflated
with the History of Mr Johnny Cash

but, really, can’t we just put this all behind us?

DAMMIT! – why does cactus have this effect on normally decent humans?

Jack & Alex were right – you are Dulness’ bitch!
(but I must admit that you have succeeded in infecting the entire UK (with the possible exception of Wales – ta, Dylan) with decay, imbecility, tastelessness and an inability to deal with either the spoken or written languages –oh; and, perhaps, The Entire World!)
However, I hear you ended up playing a dragon
in a hand-made green leather suit in a fucking market!

Oh, World Domination!

I thank the Brothers of the Charterhouse

for spoon-feeding you gruel
and wiping your worthless arse
until you so graciously died.

Get fucked, SETTLE, you arselicking, plagiarising coward!
The Spectre of Spartacus shall be ON YOUR ARSE immediately!
NO RESPITE in Hell either – DO NOT SLEEP!!!

May Jesu take pity ‘pon your soul.

My New Favourite Site

22/5/9

THIS, Parishioners,
is

My

New

Favourite

Site: The Japing Ape

THANK YOU, Perineum!